Learn to Grow. Grow to Learn.

I fear the path of spirituality and where it is leading to.

From my personal observations, the scene has changed quite dramatically from the time I entered almost thirty years ago and I am almost positive the old timers….those from decades past, probably thought the same of my generation.

Are we getting better or worse in our hidden agendas, motives, secrets and lies?

Are we truly living to Be or living to get ahead?

What are we avoiding so much by pursuing our new found Spiritualities?

As much as I am outgoing and love to be in large circles discussing everything and anything remotely interesting….I also am quite introverted, concerned with deeper thought about the natural of our reality.

In my introverted moments, I have taken to observing people and matching what they say with their words to what their body shares with its language. Arguably, 90% of the time it doesn’t match up.

I am trained in body linguistics and I notice that there is tension, stiffness and unease when some people are making statements that are not in alignment with their higher truth. I don’t say a word to them about it.

Why? Well it is said in communication, be the observer not the evaluator; meaning that if you mix the two, the communication becomes unhealthy and violent with others.

For example, this is a mix of observation and evaluation: John is a lazy man.

This is an observation: I have noticed that when John is not working, he likes to lie on the couch and watch his netflix shows. He will invariably do this every night when he comes home from work before having dinner and going to bed.

So why am I worried about the spiritual path? Because it seems more people these days are making statements where they combine the two-observation and evaluation- and then pass it off as the Golden Truth or the only way it is. This coupled with not enough shadow work is seeming to me to be the downfall of the Spiritual generation.

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There is a term for communication with observation and evaluation; it is called Violent Communication and it is named so because it brings pain, harm and threat to those receiving it.

As a mentor in psychic spiritual development, it is imperative that I teach from this concept because it keeps our “egoic” self out of the reading and allow Spirit to work through us.

As a spiritual teacher it is imperative that I teach from this concept because truly, there IS more than one way of doing something. My way is one way, the student’s way is another and there are plenty more where that came from.

I am being triggered by those in our community that take a stance, have only one perspective, create a lack of choice, create fear or disgust and bring heaviness to the divine path of spirituality.

It needs to stop.

As most of you know, I own a holistic wellness center and massage school in Northern Virginia. I hold about 10-20events/month and I am receiving new faces at many events. Within this population of new faces, I would venture to say that about 75% of them have come from another group or school that taught in such a way, it broke their Spirit, their confidence and their interest in evolving spiritually. It breaks my heart.

Of course, I say nothing. It is not my agenda to discuss another teacher’s work or get into the “WHY” of what they did. That would be observation with evaluation. No, instead I focus on what is presenting before me-the meek, the broken, the hurt and the confused; and my agenda is simply to clarify, to expand, to inspire and to create.

I frequently encourage my students to try out other Meetup groups and teachers in their Spiritual journeying. It is important to get a well rounded flavor of spiritual thought, actions and processes so the student can decide what works for them and what doesn’t. I am neither offended or proud when a student leaves my practice or joins my practice respectively. I am concerned on what they are receiving and how they are presenting in life.

A long time ago, someone had said that I was more committed to someone’s spiritual path than being liked or appreciated. That stuck with me because that is my Truth. I do not say things just to be on your good side, I say things to invoke thought and perspective on issues you are stuck on.

I am not here to be liked, I am here to be respected for the outstanding work I do and how I have helped you on your path in some way. 

In communication, I have also noticed that people are not listening as much to listen but instead to respond. You can tell by the quick answers they provide without even hearing out the question. They have already formulated what is to be said. It is to be said because it is to match the ideal they have set. The ideal they have set is to match the picture in their head of who they are.

It sounds amazing for LOA but for digging deep, it is a nightmare.

When Rob and myself book packages with clients, many times it is because that first session or two is spent peeling back the layers of ideals and grand schemes. Yes I understand you want to get there, but before we do, I need to understand the shadow self and what you are capable of when you self-destruct.

And yes you will self-destruct. It happens in all of us and I would like to think it is a fail safe mechanism instilled in us to prevent over-anything. Over-success, Over-fame, Over-fortune, Over-joy, Over-pride, Over-greed. You get it, all the overs and overs.

The “Overs” take us out of this moment and to a place far, far away. It stops us from being in the moment and learning how to accept something as is, without evaluation.

There is no right and wrong, good or bad…it just IS.

Lastly, as I see the growth of spirituality rise, I see the darkness of the shadow self shrink. And it is not shrinking because people are doing the work; no in fact, it is shrinking due to ignorance, non-acknowledgment and drive.

  1. Ignorance: If I ignore those deeper feelings and keep chanting or saying positive affirmations, all day every day, things will change. I call this the ‘Fake it Till You Make It” method. Many new age Spiritualists are using it and while it feels fresh, positive and upbeat….because of its hidden agenda to hide the darkness undertone, it just comes across as an uncomfortable dinner with family who is fighting but putting on a show for visiting friends and loved ones. It feels fake and then it gets awkward because I realize that these people are really believing they are putting on a show and I am buying it, but I am not buying it and then I feel guilty about that because there is so much effort here to convince me and I really should make an effort to believe it…..sigh. This is what happens when I get around these kinds of people and then I start to act strange around them because all of this is going on in my head.
  2. Non-Acknowledgment: I can deal with the ignorant because at least they KNOW they have a dark side but choose to ignore it. A certain group of people I cannot be around is the non-acknowledgers. Oh boy, this is a doozy. It is a doozy because they don’t even know they have a problem. It may sound shocking but not quite..think of the friend who is in an abusive relationship or has a pattern of dating the same men. Think of the person who is always losing their job and sleeping on couches from time to time. With this group of people, I feel compassion for them because they are unaware of the problem they are experiencing which is creating the life situations they are in. It would take me a good year of working with one of these people to get through and even then, success in a turn around in not quite guaranteed, We normally tend to fight going into our shadow work and when you have someone new learning about their shadow self and then told it is responsible for the majority of decisions they are making? It might be brain overload!
  3. The Driven: There is a definite change in culture as of recent; with recent being about 3-4 years ago. When my partner and I came to holistic study and learning, we came to fix ourselves. It was not even a thought to become a healer, own a center or create spiritual community. We were selfish! We wanted the healing for ourselves and we bonded over our respective pain bodies. We motivated each other and Rob did an hour of energy healing on himself every day and I did two hours of spiritual practice on myself every day. I called them my MERCY mornings which stood for Meditation, Exercise, Reiki, Card Reading and Yoga. I latter moved away from that description and changed it to MERRY mornings and created a workshop out of it to help people develop their own spiritual practice. In doing our hourly self-healing practices every day, we were facing our shadow self head on. We were not hiding, dismissing or creating goals to avoid- we were facing our demons head on and mostly by ourselves without the help of others or community. These days I meet people who recently had an awakening, stated taking a couple of classes and have decided they want to be a healer or own a center. I would be a millionaire if I collected money from people who told me their goal in life was to own a wellness center and do all the things I did.

The thing is, if you really want that, then you have to go get that. BUT, one favor I am going to ask you….is to go within, spend some time with yourself and ask yourself truly, “What is it that I deeply desire?”

I once had a student remark that I made everything look effortless and when she looked at me, she thought Effortless. 

I will tell you now that it is such a nicer feeling (and an effortless one!) when Spirit has something planned for you and you discover that as you grow and mature on the Spiritual path than if you decide something is for you and it may not be for you.

In owning a wellness center, Spirit deemed it necessary for me to have this. I have not ever thought about owning a wellness center in my life. As I started to grow and develop, I started seeing visions of this wellness center. I doubted it. Then Spirit sent messages through clients and friends who also had the vision and then I doubted less. Then Spirit brought the money, people, location and business to me. So I accepted.

Everything I have on the Spiritual Path came to me easy, in perfect timing and with abundance. Why? Because I had no agenda. LITERALLY.

A brief synopsis of my journey thus far:

  1. Had two kids –> realized I did not want to use my Master’s degree in Health Care Management to work the regular 9-5 anymore. I wanted to be home with my babies! So what next Spirit?
  2. Spirit pointed me and paid for massage school outright! A year of learning, making new friends, growing and evolving. I need a job now Spirit! What’s next?
  3. Hired at my first spa job a month before I graduated massage school. Pointed in the direction of Reiki and Reflexology. Love this! What’s next?
  4. Spirit created enough income for me to leave the spa jobs (3 at the time) and work full time from home. Yaaaah! This is what I wanted! To be accessible to my kids. Awesome! What’s next?
  5. Spirit created enough income for me to rent space outside of my home to regain privacy of home. My popularity started growing and I had to relearn boundaries and professional separation between my personal life and professional life. Lots of lessons, I am humbled. What’s next?
  6. Lots of requests from clients to write a book with all my sage advice and wisdom. Spirit woke me at 3am and we wrote the book and was done by 11am with the outline. Within two weeks, the book was completed. Sold and is a big hit with readers. Wow, how humbling, I am a published author now. Thank you Spirit. What’s next?
  7. Lots of massage school closings in our area, we need massage therapists on the forefront of healing and self-care. Spirit provided the means and resources to open a massage school. Location? Spirit created space down one floor in the same building I am in! Yaaah! Ease and Joy! No commute!

I will stop there, because you get the picture! I had no plans. If you talked to me 10 years ago and told me all the things I would accomplish by the time I turned 40, I would have thought you were on something.

In each scenario, I am happy and content with what is in front of me. When I take a class, I take it for the love of learning not to reteach it at my studio. There are so many modalities I am qualified and certified in that I have not yet taught at the center. Why? Simply because Spirit has not deemed it necessary yet. And if and when they do, I will be ready to do such a thing.

If you are reading this, and you are triggered in anyway by what you are reading, I do apologize for how you feel. I recommend you go into those feelings because that is the beginning of the shadow work. To understand your triggers and why you feel pain from my words or anyone’s words. It can only sting if there is some element of truth in it that you are denying yourself from seeing. See it, deal with it and work through it.

In closing, I would like to reiterate with what I started with. I fear the path of spirituality and where it is leading to.

When I started out in spiritual community ten years ago, I was spoiled. I had the most delicious experiences with people who were vulnerable, raw, open, honest and authentic. No one sought to be on a pedestal above others and no one was learning or attending events to become a healer. We were rejoicing in learning and sharing space, digging into our shadow selves and learning from them. This was my experience and it proved invaluable in making me the person I am today. I wish this for everyone too.

I will keep observing and paying attention. I may not say much but I will continue to think alot. It is my deepest desire we return to a state of vulnerability and humility.

Where we can show up for each other with compassion and love, instead of envy or entitlement.

Where we can listen to hear and not listen to respond.

Where we can be the constant student and step up to the path of the teacher when we are called to it by Spirit.

Where we can sit at the feet of teachers we hold in high regard not because of the number of certificates they have but because of the beauty of their words well chiseled over time from pain, suffering, learning, growing and sharing.

Where we can exist without an agenda or need to be something we are not.

Where we can stop degrading ourselves by “searching for a purpose” and revel in the joy of living.

Because truly there is no greater purpose than that.

Until next time,

I will see you and see you xo

Uma

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Uma Alexandra Beepat

http://www.umalotusflower.com

 

 

 

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