If you have been following social media, you may have seen me go through some visible changes over the past few weeks.
From the outside looking in, you may think, “Uma is in a world of drama!”
BUT actually I am not.
All of these changes were foreseen and I have been ready for them for quite some time. How?
Well about 12 weeks ago my friend Paulina and I decided to trade weekly Access Consciousness body process and BARS sessions in an effort to revamp our lives and make us manifesting machines. Whoa!
While we were prepared, we had NO IDEA just how much our lives would change with these weekly sessions! I started to live for myself and not for other people’s expectations. I started having way more fun than I have had in a long time. Sometimes I laugh so much, my cheeks hurt and that has happened twice this week alone!
As with everything positive, there is a negative association and for me it was the identification of certain events, people and situations from my life that was just beginning to feel heavy.
Getting rid of events and situations are easy because they are products without feeling. Changing relationships in your life is a bit harder because you have to take into account how someone feels and try your best to do it in such a way that they leave feeling empowered and not broken.
I always remember a favorite quote from Brenee Brown to deal with situations like this. It says, “Who you are is how you lead.”
My intent is not to hurt people and to also honor my change of heart. So with each situation, I walk carefully to honor them and me and pray to the highest Goddesses, that it all works out beautifully.
I can say without a doubt, so far it has. I’ve managed to release some working partnerships that no longer felt light to me while still respecting my business associates.
When you are faced with a situation you don’t feel good about, it is quite easy to change, the question is not HOW you can change it but IF you want to.
When I work as a life coach in helping people reset their mindsets, the biggest obstacle I come across is their desire to have a changed outcome without actually committing to any behavior changes. The desire is there but it is not strong enough to warrant change.
I am going to share with you three of my own personal tips that I use to create change in my life when I don’t feel good. I hope it brings joy and lightness to your life as it has for me!
- Be Realistic about your Plan and Outcome
When I am creating change about something in my life, the first thing I do is have a self pep talk about what will go down. For instance, it was brought to my attention recently that my October retreat was not selling as many tickets as it normally does for this time of year. Here was my pep talk:
“Ok Uma you know from past experience that this retreat should have been sold by now but it hasn’t. Whatever the reason (COVID, Financial struggles, Lack of interest), it feels good to let it go. You know you may experience backlash from the community and the few people who already signed up and prepaid but brace yourself for it. Create time this week to deal with these energies and don’t get stressed. You got this!“
By talking to myself (haha) and being realistic about the struggle that is coming up (cancelling an event, refunding clients, taking down ads) it puts me in a mindset of readiness for what is to come as oppose to lying to myself about it and then being caught unawares. Be prepared by facing the outcome and getting yourself mentally and energetically ready for it.
2. Put yourself First
There is a tendency in our lives to want to take care of others before taking care of ourselves first. Call it being a mom or a nurturer or just giving a damn, we like to help people.
Usually that is A-OK however not when you are dealing with a struggle that involves you. Make the committment and put measures in place to honor your thoughts, feelings and emotions and then look to taking care of others.
When you do this, you will feel lighter through the whole situation because you are simultaneously handling stress and providing means for your self care. It IS possible to come out of an unhappy situation feeling peaceful. Make the commitment to yourself first, honor it and it will give you the courage you need to address the struggle in your life.
When I recently went through the craziness in my own life, I kept setting up trades with my friends for my self care and scheduling days and weekends off to regroup and take care of me. I also allowed myself to move at whatever rate felt good. Some days I didn’t do a darn thing and some days I was up until 3am working. Honoring yourself and your energy takes many forms, learn to judge less and BE more.
3. Practice Heavy and Light Exercises
One of my favorite exercises (you probably had enough hearing about it) is the heavy light. According to Access Consciousness, what feels heavy to you is a LIE and what feels light to you is your TRUTH.
“Hey Uma, do you want to go swimming with sharks?”
Hell NO! Immediately I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach so I KNOW it’s a lie to me!
“Hey Uma, do you want to go on all expenses paid spa day trip with me?”
Yes Please! Immediately my shoulders relaxed and I felt a “brightening” around my heart. Message received.
The bottom line in dealing with not so good feelings is to be aware of that fact and work through it as best as you can. Sometimes we can do it on our own, sometimes we need the help of our social circles and sometimes we need professional help.
Don’t make a judgment, do what feels light to you and work at it. Your day in the sun is near so don’t get lost in the clouds. xo Uma