Grateful for Pain

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Today it is Thanksgiving 2020 and everywhere across the US, people are celebrating things to be grateful for. As am I……but today my mental processes took me back to the beginning of this year and throughout it. So here is my truth, I am thankful for the pain of 2020.

Let me explain the many ways (briefly) I was hurt this year and what I gained of it.

In January I had a surgery that went wrong and I nearly died. It was supposed to be a simple surgery of thirty minutes but two hours later it wasn’t and I lost more blood than the medical team accounted for. I couldn’t wake up after surgery and lost a lot of blood, so much so that it took 6 bags of blood to pump into me to bring my heart rate back. I was not coherent for most of this but from the stories of my partner, family and staff, I understood it was a close call. While I may not remember all the details of this experience, I very vividly remember being on the other side temporarily and meeting my beloved grandmother who passed away a few years ago. Aside from the excruciating pain of surgery and trying to come back, I had to deal with the emotional repercussions of losing my life and being on the other side for a brief moment.

After that scare, I suffered with mental pain as I had to adjust to being back here on the earth plane. I was depressed. Seeing firsthand how fleeting life is and seeing the other side of life (the beyond), I suffered with depression for a few months because I felt so…..lacking. Was I proud of the life I lived? Did I help enough people? Was I more kind than angry? I fell short in all of these areas and judged myself tremendously. I also missed my grandmother who was and still is an important figure in my life. To see her even so briefly invoked a lot of the old pain of losing her and I had to grieve for her again. Painful.

Then I caught COVID. Yup, right after I came home from the hospital. They didn’t know to test me then for it so they tested me for influenza and everything else but it came back negative. I knew it was COVID because I had a fever of 103 for a week, no taste and no smell and no energy. I just wanted to sleep forever. The pain of COVID drove me over the edge and at this time I also had suicidal thoughts because I felt like life would never be the same for me. I felt so beaten down first by the surgery and then by covid that I started entertaining thoughts of ending my life really to end the pain. Painful.

After I recovered from both the surgery and COVID, I was ready to go back to work but of course the state mandated quarantine came in and I was out of business for three months. In those three months I had to let my whole staff go and downsize from two offices to one. I moved classes and services online and survived but the intense work of completely reorganizing my life and career while still having fresh stitches from my surgery proved too much and I broke the stitches. I now had a very LARGE open wound that put my health back into jeopardy. Doctors were throwing around words like second surgery and at home daily nurse aide which did happen. Everyday I had to endure a nurse pushing a cotton swab INTO the open wound to check the length of it before she cleaned and bandaged it. I remember I would lie there and not cry but tears would silently roll down my cheeks.

You reach a point where there are no more words beyond the pain, you just accept it and receive it without objection.

Beyond Painful.

I recovered. Took me four months but the wound healed, no second surgery was needed and then the business I own somehow miraculously thrived. Whew. We are now in the middle of 2020 and I am beginning to feel……hopeful. Life may get back to what it used to be right? We will come out of this right?

Of course we will but not before one last painful experience, the biggest one of them all-the end of a 5 year relationship with my soulmate, my business partner and my best friend.

I called it off in August due to private reasons and it….broke me. Beyond painful. Gut wrenching tragedy is how I would classify it. This man was MY man and to be my man for all of eternity. But as incidents go, it wasn’t meant to be and when it was time to go, I did. Obediently but not willingly. He was my everything and I really at this point wanted to just give up. Really give up.

I made a will and I made plans with the Universe to check out. No I wasn’t contemplating suicide (heck no!) but I was just in a place of….. acceptance. I couldn’t see how I could move forward in any area of my life- health wise, career, personally or romantically.

Everything died in 2020 and I wanted to die with them.

Painful endings.

And this is where my gratitude came in.

Because the pain that was constant for 8 months did something to me. At first the pain did just that, caused me pain! Hot seering, burning, blinding pain where you rather die than continue on.

But it’s funny being human….we tend to adapt.

After a few months of some of the most excruciating pain I have ever felt (my wound healing needs a seperate blog), I learned to live with pain. It no longer bothered me. I awoke with it and went to bed with it. I made peace with it and pain in some ways even became my friend.

I learned how to read pain. Seering pain meant slow down Uma. This is all you can handle. Constant pain became the backdrop to my life and I learned to smile while gripping my leg to ease it. I learned how to carry on a conversation with a nurse while she jabbed cotton swabs into my open and raw flesh without wincing or screaming. I learned to share love with others even when love left my bed. I learned how to give this year.

That is what pain taught me, how to give.

And I gave. Oh God how I gave.

I gave money to help struggling families even when I was struggling.

I gave my time to arrange house visits and meal plans for struggling families even when I had no time or meals for myself.

I gave tears for others’ pains over mine.

I gave energy to keep others going even when I was drowning.

I kept going because I was going to be damned if pain would win over me.

And you know what? It didn’t.

It gave up and in giving up, it released me to a whole new life. A life I couldn’t see because I was too steeped in pain. A life that is so much different than before. A life I dreamed of.

My health is better than ever and I’ve lost quite a bit of weight and continuing to drop as my new body gets into the flow of LIVING.

My career started to flourish because as I let go of things and people, the presence of ME became more apparent and who knew? The people wanted ME all along. I started booking up and classes were filled again. I was in awe.

My relationships got interestingly better. I now surround myself with girlfriends who are open to authenticity and vulnerability. We don’t hide who we are from each other. We share our mistakes openly and our regrets as much as we do our joys and happiness. I feel supported and truly loved for who I am not who people want me to be.

And love…..well in the love department, that door is still open but I will say this. I have met some incredible men that have motivated me to believe in love again. One in particular opened my heart so wide, it shocked me. I feel like a teenager in high school again when I am around him and that in of itself is worth the experience of dating him regardless of if it works out or not. He gave me the desire to love again and I will be eternally grateful to him for that small mercy.

So this Thanksgiving I am alive and healthy, I am with my family in South FL and I am surrounded on a daily basis by love and truth. I am so incredibly thankful and grateful for the pain of this year.

Friends, we all went through the ringer of 2020, but after reading this little blog of mine, I ask you…..are you grateful for your pain too? Can you see the rainbow after the dark clouds? What did this blog mean to you and what awareness do you have now of your own pain and the lessons it brought?

I hope you do take the time to reflect on these questions because whether I know you or not, this is my prayer for you. “Be happy, be healthy, be peaceful, be love and in the end, do not fear pain, embrace it.”

Be it all because you deserve it.

Happy Thanksgiving and I love you.

xo Uma

Uma Alexandra Beepat is the published author of the Awakened Life by Balboa Press Publishing and the owner of The Lotus and The Light Metaphysical Center in NOVA.

Uma is a bonafide mystic who looks to the patterns and signs in life and lives accordingly. She is also a wild gypsy queen that is a Capricorn Sun, Gemini Moon and Sag Rising. Fun times!

Do You Need A Reading?

First of all, you don’t NEED a reading! You can desire a reading to provide more information into a specific situation. Not a need but a desire.

Most times people clam up when I talk about this stuff. Why? Well instead of explaining it, I can show it to you.

Today I received this message in my dm:

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Ya know……. it’s stuff like this that gives my line of work a bad name.

Sigh, don’t worry folks. I wouldn’t ever reach out to you and tell you this.

Readings are meant to validate what you already know. The truth is we already have inner knowledge of where we are going but yet sometimes we hesitate or have confusion. That’s when you get a reading.

Most of my clients already know the answer and my readings provide them the validation and confidence they need to make the next step.

Sometimes I see things they don’t see because in addition to being a reader, I am a seer. It is an ability I had since I was a child that developed and got more accurate and stronger over the years. In those situations, my seership proves invaluable as it allows my client to prepare for what will come.

Case in point, I read for a few people this year in January as an annual reading. I predicted sudden upsets to their lives and through my guidance, they were able to prepare for what was coming.

None of us KNEW it was Covid but my readings readied them and they were! Several clients wrote me by March to validate the reading and how it helped them so much.

My own readings also gave me this guidance last summer and I was able to prepare ahead of time for this year.

Most people when they reach out to me, have no idea what an intuitive reading is so I wanted to break it down a bit and explain what I do.

Firstly I do three specific types of readings that I will share now including my why and how of what I do.

 

  1. Mediumship Readings- this option is for people who want to connect with a loved one who has passed and is on the other side.

Why:

Most times people want to know that their loved one made it to the other side safely and if they had any last messages for them.

How:

The critic might say that I can make up stuff to tell them and yes they are correct. However as an evidential medium, my task is to provide solid evidence on the person to the client, information they can verify. This weans out the fakes and wannabes who pull on generic information that can be used for multiple people.

When I connect with a loved one on the other side, I present evidential material to my client and once it is validated then I can move on to a message from them. Its a form of checks and balances I use to ensure the quality of the connection and to ensure there is a smooth delivery of communication between the living and the dead.

 

2. Spiritual Assessments- this reading is for people who would like spiritual guidance from their Spirit team.

Why: Sometimes in life we can feel lost or stuck and would like spiritual guidance from a higher Source into our situation. This is the reading people book.

How: In this instance I am not travelling to the realms of the dead for connection, I am going UP to higher realms of consciousness to bring information from people’s spirit guides and guardian angels. I do this by changing my levels of perception and contacting the Spirit world. I have been doing this since as a child so this work comes quite naturally for me and it is my favorite type of reading to do because it helps people understand where they are and where they need to focus on to keep going. Very helpful.

 

3. Intuitive Readings – this option is for people who have specific questions they would like answers to.

Why: Sometimes people feel stuck or confused into which direction to move into. This reading can help by bringing answers from the spiritual realms to provide guidance in next steps.

How: Usually I use tarot cards along with divination tools to help me gain these answers for people. I can see the past, the present and the future in these types of readings and I usually communicate with the higher consciousness of the person or their spirit guides for the answers. Most times when I bring answers, the client already knows the answer so it brings great relief and validation for their next steps.

Doing readings bring me joy because it allows me to truly help people from a spiritual place when they are feeling less than positive or happy. I love to see people happy and thriving so when they leave a reading happy, it makes me happy.

Sometimes I get people who are unhappy with the reading because the messages are not what they want to hear. This usually happens in cases of love readings because due to my ethics, I do not read another person aside from the client without their permission. You would be surprised how many nosey mothers or possessive girlfriends need this! When I refuse to do it, they can get mad or vengeful but I keep my stance because ethically it is wrong to do.

When someone comes to me for a relationship reading, I let them know that I cannot read the person without their permission but I can ask Spirit what advice they would like to give you. Most times people understand and are happy with that and it tends to work out well.

Readings can be helpful if you work with someone who has experience and integrity in this field.

If you have never had a reading, here is my advice for you when booking one.

  1. Find a reader to give you the session you desire. If you want a mediumship reading, find a medium. If you want a spiritual assessment, find a spiritual advisor and if you want an intuitive reading, find a psychic.

2. Whichever reader you go with, experience is preferred. Don’t be shy to ask your reader about their experience and demand for facts not generalities. When people check me out, I can easily tell them I have been doing this for 11 years and have provided over 10,000 private sessions in healing and readings. I also teach tarot workshops and host three mentorship development programs annually.

3. Do your research and check them out on social media. You can pick up on the tone and energy of a reader by what they post and see if it is in alignment with your energy and beliefs.

4. And finally, find someone you are magnetically pulled to. There are just some people you feel good around and that helps. When you feel comfortable with someone, you will trust them more and the reading will flow easily. Remember it is all based on energy and intent so starting with someone you like is a sure fire way to find your way to a great experience.

I hope you liked this article and if so, please feel free to leave a comment! I look forward to meeting you or reading for you sometime in the future. Until then, many blessings for a peaceful life. xo Uma

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Uma Alexandra Beepat is the owner of the Lotus and the Light Metaphysical Center in Manassas, VA.

Uma is a Psychic Medium, Soul Alignment Coach and Spiritual Teacher and Mentor. Uma wrote the Awakened Life and is a retreat facilitator for the New Year New You Retreat in January and Living the Awakened Life Retreat in October.

To find out more about Uma visit http://www.thelotusandthelight.com

The True You overcomes the Lies of You

You know what’s beautiful about being in the spotlight? Being in the spotlight.

You know what’s horrible about being in the spotlight? Being in the spotlight.

One of the things I have had to deal with over the years, is people’s perceptions of me (usually wrong and false) and the “take backsies” of those false perceptions when they finally meet me.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but I never liked you until I met you.”

“People say you are such an evil person but I get you! You are so raw and authentic!”

“I am glad I met you because from what I heard, I never thought I would like you.”

At first it use to really bother me. I mean really bother me that there was the idea of people being out there, meeting me and gasp, not liking me.

But as you get older, you get wiser and well honestly you care less so as these situations come up, they tend to rub me less and less. I am ok with it now.

I would like to say I am actually at the point where I can laugh at the silliness of it all. I can say that, because something recently happened concerning this and you know what I did? I laughed. Not an evil laugh as some might believe but a good ole hearty chuckle because I know what I know what I know and that knowing saves me a great deal of heartache and trauma drama.

Recently I had to do a reading for a client who came to me through a mutual acquaintance. This mutual acquaintance no longer approves of me and in fact is so disapproving of me, they tend to share their views about me publicly. So I know something was said about me to this prospective client.

I have to admit, I was kind of curious about this situation I was facing. Do I cancel the reading to stay in integrity to myself or do I go ahead and do this professional work and put my personal opinions to the side?  You betcha, I did the latter and took the client.

Frankly speaking, when it comes to the work I do, I maintain that I work for Spirit and I trust them enough to know that my personal views will not interfere with the reading I had to give. This person did not make me feel uncomfortable or have a threatening presence. I only knew that they were close friends with my former acquaintance and I was more concerned with them being able to receive this Spirit reading fully or having barriers up because of who was delivering the message.

I trusted Spirit though because with this person requesting a reading from me means only one thing to me. They needed my services and they were willing enough to put their personal opinions aside and trust me for this service. I was greatly appreciative and humbled. People can say what they want about me, but at the end of the day, I am a damn good Spirit communicator. People can say what they want about you, but they can’t touch what you are damn good at. 

As I got ready to meet this person for the first time, I prayed and asked Spirit to be with us for this reading and for me to be the clear channel I know I can be. See the truth of the back story is that even though I have the foresight to see what happened and why it happened, I am a girl with feelings and my feelings got hurt with the past actions and how they played out. I can forgive but rarely do I forget. I can move on but I can remember. You can be full of love and light and cautious. It’s definitely a thing. 

I was pleasantly surprised by my client. From the minute she sat down, she addressed the elephant in the room. “I want you to know that I don’t care what is being said about you, I can see your Spirit and it shines beautifully. You are real and you are wonderful and I love you already.” All barriers down, it was time to work.

And this brings me to the crux of this blog. People can SEE you. Not physically see you with their eyes (well of course they can) but see you with their Soul.

As we live these lives we have been given, we will choose to live it the way WE want to live it. This will understandably rub some people the wrong way as through their eyes, they feel they can advise you to do a better job of living your life. It all sounds silly here on screen but truthfully, this is the base of the matter. People want to tell you what to do based off of their perception. Forgive them anyway. 

As you rub people the wrong way, two things can happen.

  1. They move out of your life and move on to other things. They can either judge you for perceived failures or be a bigger person and realize that you are not in alignment with them, it’s not a right or a wrong, and move on peacefully.
  2. They can talk about you to whoever will listen because they really feel the need to justify their perceptions.

With the #1 kind of person, it is a relief. Relationships begin and they end. It is a natural part of life. When you meet someone who is mature enough to walk away and still think you are great….just not great for them….you have met a truly inspired being. I would like to think I am this kind of person because even though there have been many endings to relationships in my life (both romantically and platonically), I really still think each of those people are awesome in their right and wish them well.

With the #2 kind of person, it is a shame. I know it is natural to want to FEEL hurt by their actions but you cannot allow yourself to go down this rabbit hole. Their actions have less to do with you and more to do with their perception of you and how tightly they cling to it.

I don’t accept it when a client says, “I have no choice in the matter.” That is a straight and bold lie. We always have a choice and sometimes we make a choice out of laziness, necessity or lethargy. If a woman is in a bad relationship, she can leave. If she chooses to stay, she will tell you her reason from the get go. “I needed to stay for the kids” or “I don’t work, what will I do?” Still a choice.

When people leave your life, they have a choice to see what they want to see. They absolutely choose it when they see you as a negative person and then choose to share that with others.

Let’s be clear, I am not advocating to lie or hide truths from people; I am asking for a shift in perception.

Have people done me wrong? Absolutely.

Do I have a reason to drag someone’s name through the mud? Definitely.

Do I do it? No.

There is no point. Every relationship has ups and downs and when one is over for me, I tend to recall and reflect on the person’s high qualities and not their faults or mistakes. It is my choice.

I hope you make the same choice because I can personally tell you, it always work out in the end.  I have had several people come back into my life after a period of isolation and I can honestly say, I felt no guilt because I didn’t trash them while they were away. Some of these relationships came back for closure and some came back to be ignited. Life is a journey and we are constantly saying hello and goodbye while on it.

So if you are on the unfortunate end of the stick where people are talking badly about you, forgive them anyways. You know who you are, and you need to stand proud by that. People have a choice whether to believe what is being said about you or think for themselves. I think you will be pleasantly surprised by how many people do the second part.

I was so happy to read for this new person who will now become a regular client of mine, because she loved the session so much. She loved it so much that she went back to our mutual acquaintance and raved about it to her too! I love that Spirit has my back and you know what? Spirit has yours too.

Be you. Be flawless yet authentically you. Those that will love you will flock to you and those that don’t, don’t matter anyways. Find your tribe and live free.

xo Uma

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Uma Alexandra Beepat is the owner of Lotus Wellness Center in Manassas, VA where she teaches classes in spiritual development and provides intuitive consultation services. For more information visit http://www.umalotusflower.com

The Birth of Awareness

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Ever since I was a little girl I was chastised for the wrongness of me. At first I was confused. What do you mean I laugh too loud? What does it mean that I am too curvy for a 10 year old? Why do you want to tame my long, unruly hair and put me in dresses when I rather climb a tree and play football with my brother and his friends?

Eventually the confusion gave way to anger. I became angry and stayed angry for a very long time. Anytime I felt the judging comments or looks coming my way, I would block it off at the start with my own growl or piercing stare. I learned from an early age how to shut down opposition fast.

There is a right and a wrong, good and bad to this though. While I learned how to love myself unconditionally, I also avoided constructive criticism that came my way from well meaning friends, boyfriends and family members. I couldn’t take it as constructive, I was too burnt from the years of oppressive comments that burned me to my core. I was angry and if you were not in agreement with me, you were against me. And all of Uma, couldn’t have that.

 Fast forward to last year which I lovingly refer to as my “Dark Year of the Soul” and those unhealthy behaviors came full force. My anger cost me my relationship, friendships and created stress and strife in my life. I was not feeling the Zen I was promised from being on the Spiritual path.

I knew I desired change but I didn’t know how to go about getting it. Abraham Hicks says all of your reality is your manifestation and everyone and everything in it is there to serve you, as it is about you, and for you because it is created by you. I like to use the terminology of a sandbox. When we are born, we are born into our own sandboxes. As we go through life, we invite people into our sandbox to play with us. Some stay awhile, some come and go and come back again and some come in quickly and never return again. Sometimes we leave our sandbox to go meddle in other people’s sandboxes, and that is ok. It’s all a circle of life. A circle of sandboxes.

I believe what happened last year followed this concept and the Law of Attraction. Me, the UMA that was born on this Earth Planet many years ago knew she was wanted to uplevel and be there before she turned 40. The UMA wanted to work on those few bothersome things that were still affecting her on a personal and emotional level, and take it a higher level. So the UMA invited in the contrast.

Abraham Hicks talks about the need of human beings to invite in contrast for them to transform. Contrast is all the yucky things- drama, strife, struggle, pain and suffering. At this moment in time, we cannot ascend or transform without the contrast, so according to their teachings, it is a beautiful thing when the contrast comes because it signifies growth.

There was a lot of strife and struggle last year with business as I created another two businesses in addition to the two I already owned. My health and weight was not in the best place and these things were affecting me and therefore leaking into my relationship with my soulmate. Eventually it led to our downfall and for his own safety (and sanity) he had to lovingly walk away from our relationship. That was the last straw and I broke.

In true Uma style, I didn’t break halfway or a little bit or one piece at a time, I broke completely. It was a breaking of my self. It was the beginning of my death.

I remember reading Eckhart Tolle’s work awhile back, “The Power of Now” where he talked about being suicidal because he was tired of being him. He reached the point where he thought about suicide and was seriously contemplating it and it was that one night, he experienced as he called it, the death of the Ego.

As Eckhart was muling over the thoughts in his head, “I can’t stand myself”, he realized there were two voices. The “I” and the “myself”. So which one was he? He was identifying himself all the time in his thoughts and he wanted to know, who was this person speaking? From that first question, he gained an incredible amount of clarity and awareness and it changed his life to take him to the level of success he is at now.

Some call this other voice a monitor, some call it the Voice of Reason, some say Higher Self or our Inner Being. It doesn’t matter, the understanding is the same in that we are always accessible to a higher version of ourselves, and that higher version usually comes out in times of strife.

Last summer, I had a breakdown myself like Eckhart and contemplated dark thoughts. It was a dark moment where I wasn’t sure which way to proceed. It felt like all of life was failing me. My businesses were becoming increasingly difficult to handle, I felt betrayed by the disappearance of my soulmate, my kids were gone for the whole summer and I was all alone in my house with my thoughts. Yup, I was ready to check out feeling sorry for myself.

I remember one painful night very well. I drank a lot because I was trying to numb the pain of feeling alone, overwhelmed, fearful, scared, depressed and like a failure. I was in and out of consciousness and I faintly remember crying and talking to a friend about how this was all too much and I was overwhelmed. I went to bed feeling defeated and begging the Universe for another way.

I can’t remember exactly how the turn around came and I wish I did so I could share it truthfully here. What I do know, is that blessedly it came. I just woke up (literally) the next morning and I felt….lighter. Something was lifted and something was no longer there but I didn’t know what. It didn’t matter though, I felt so good, I got up and did my morning spiritual practice, something I haven’t done in a long time. And then I decided I wanted to live. Not just live day to day but truly live. I wanted to experience this life and expand my experiences as much as possible outside my previous circle of pain. I felt I could do it and I wasted no time getting to work.

I planned a girls trip to Mexico. I wanted to do one of my first loves, which is traveling. I also have a hobby of visiting ancient wonders of the world so Chichen Itza was on my list. In going to Mexico, the visit to the famous ruins wasn’t my high point. The high point of that trip was jumping into a cenote (an underground sinkhole) and swimming in the cool waters.

There were two ways to get into the cenote, either jump into the dark lagoon trusting there is no mythical water dragon there to eat you up or you can take the ladder down. I remember standing there with Julie and we were both contemplating it. It felt important somehow, me taking this jump, like it was representing something more than what it was.

As I stood there, I realized, “Uma this is what you do. You weigh the pros and cons of everything as life is passing you by. No more! trust your intuition and the vibration of the moment and go for it if it feels right.” I stopped thinking and jumped into the cool dark waters. As I sank lower and lower and lower, I let go. It was only a couple of seconds but it felt like a lifetime going down in that water. I kept falling and it felt good. It felt free.

As I rose to the surface of the water, I felt all the heaviness of my problems stay behind in that cenote and I came up lighter, happier and free. I laughed out loud uncontrollably and was crying but no one could tell because I was swimming in a cenote, where there were tons of people, lots of whooping and yelling and my uncontrollable laughter and tears were part of the mayhem. I felt like me again.

Not me prior to my relationship or my business, big things that were part of my identity for such a long time. I remember specifically feeling like I was when I was 12 years old. I felt sassy and happy and content with who I was. I felt fearless and adventurous and always up for a good time. I felt joy.

When we returned from Mexico, I jumped into life. I took a spontaneous trip to Florida to see my babies and hang out with my brother, talking about life on a beach in Fort Lauderdale and just being in the moment. I went to a concert with friends high on life and heard my favorite all time song live. And met some interesting people that taught me some interesting things. I took another spontaneous trip to Florida to be in an advanced mediumship workshop with John Holland and met an incredible group of people and fell in love with the most beautiful Gypsy man I ever met. We became friends but knew we lived this life together before.

In living for myself and with myself, I became increasingly aware of what this life was like and what it was about for all of us. I developed compassion for myself and all beings. I stopped looking through the lens of hate, anger, fear, blame, shame, regret, doubt and all the other distractor implants we have to distract us from just loving and being love. I became love.

Now this love I was experiencing and being, was my version of expression of love. So sometimes I can say this and some people go “huh?” Uma is NOT what I would think of as love and light, and you know what? You are damn right. I am not.

 My expression of love is trust and allowance. My definition of trust is in alignment with the Access Consciousness founder Gary Douglas’s definition which states, “Trust is not about trusting in someone or in self, it is about trusting that person will act exactly how you know them to act given their circumstances and their thought processes.” I became clear in my perception. I became aware.

In trusting that people were going to do certain things based on what they know to do, I relaxed and allowed. I held no judgment and I stayed in my sandbox.

People noticed a change in me over this summer. To some, they couldn’t understand me. Like literally. We would have conversations and they would look at me and say, “I can’t understand what you are saying.” And this is the second part of my love coming in. I allowed. I was doing and saying things outside of the comprehension of many and they couldn’t grasp what I was doing. For some, they were aware enough to know that something else was at play here so they accepted and allowed and some turned to judgment. It was all okay.

Some went further and accused me of ridiculing them and being mean so I got blocked and unfriended on FB. I was accused for being a “fake spiritual teacher” and I got ridiculed for being an emotional being. However none of these things triggered me. I didn’t feel dejected or rejected. The anger did not come nor did the pettiness, because I was just so keenly aware of what was happening and sometimes even on a cellular level. This is how I knew I gained enlightenment. Life was still happening all around me and to me but I did not have a charge, an emotional charge about it. I was in a state of continual perception.

The best part of this enlightenment happened in my workplace. I took this awareness into my work, and I spoke to bodies that were sick and dying and brought them back to functioning. Law of Attraction brought me terminally ill clients, more so than I have seen in years. Last year became the year I stopped being a massage therapist and the majority of my sessions were either on the phone or in person and talking. No touch, just talking BUT people were leaving healed. Lighter, free and more aware. I am grateful for this shift that has profoundly helped me and helped others.

It’s not miracle work, its awareness. When you gain awareness, you know what you need to say to everyone and everything to make it work again. And making it work again, work the way it was intended to work, that was my way of expressing love in this community.

So what was the point of this blog? The moral of the story? Step into the pain. Go into it willingly. Embrace it if you must because eventually, one painful day or night, it will lead to the death of the ego and in doing so, the birth of awareness can happen.

I am not saying I am perfect now. Hardly. I am however more aware of where I still have work to do and what I can work on and what needs to be left alone until another time. When I do make a mistake or hurt someone’s feelings unintentionally, I am quick to apologize. I am even quicker to listen and slower to defend. I am learning to accept that people will do what they need to do to comfort themselves without regard for others because truly, they have to take care of themselves.

I am also learning when to offer help and when to step back. I recently tried to help someone close to my heart but they responded with such anger and hate towards me, I stepped back immediately and stayed in a place of allowance and love for the person. This particular person and I had a torrid past and they clearly were still hurting from my past actions. It is because of their hurt, I wanted to help, especially because I created the hurt in the first place but they said something that added to my awareness. “I am not ready”. I agreed and stepped back. I love this person for honoring where they are at and not judging themselves for still holding on to the anger. This is the version of super human I intend to be myself. To be ok with all the feelings and accepting of them all.

I see what people are doing, and I am seeing it clearly because I have no judgment into what they are doing. I want to help. Its part of my soul contract why I came here.

So in closing, ask yourself  if you are in the middle of depth and despair. And if you are, be honest and ask yourself, are you running from it? If a yes comes up, how about trying something different? How about leaning into it as Pema Chodron would say, or just letting go and allowing it? Maybe you will experience the great death I did and begin to feel the free-ness of being you and being aware. It is something I wish for everyone. Awareness without Judgment. It’s a beautiful thing.

 Love and Light,

xo Uma

He who barks the loudest

One time while visiting my partner, I was greeted by loud barking as I pulled up in his driveway. Now I knew this wasn’t Silas! A friendly and warm Great Pyrenees who could not hurt a fly!

I was right, it wasn’t this sweet gentle giant but another dog half the size of Silas but with much more of a bark! My partner was babysitting another dog, Carter while his owner was away at the beach. This dog is nothing like Silas. He is half the size of Silas but louder and more barky. When I walked into the house Silas greeted me warmly as he usually does but Carter was growling and barking in a very loud tone that was mean and menacing. I was terrified LOL.

After Carter settled down and sat quietly in the corner, I decided to go and be kind and pet him. It was a nice thought but the minute I tried to touch Carter he bared his teeth turned around and snapped at me! Thank God I have lightening quick reflexes! I recoiled my hand in horror and retreated quickly to the safety of the corner of the room.

After Carter attempted to bite me, he went to the closet and got his stuffed animal and then went under the desk and hid underneath my partner’s legs. I was completely perplexed by this seemingly aggressive yet vulnerable creature, what gives?

 Well I later found out that Carter was an abandoned dog and because of his abandonment and hurt inflicted by the family who previously owned him, he had developed trust issues with humans. He wasn’t treated very kindly by the family before and there was a lot of pain and suffering still rampant in him.

 Ahhhh, it makes sense and I could see that now. As I thought about this dog, I thought to myself….how many people are like this dog? We have heard the term before right? “Hurt people hurt people”…..its akin to a barking dog. Sometimes the dog that barks the loudest…is the most hurt dog of all.

No there is another type of barking dog that demonstrates hurt and pain. The dog that is constantly barking…and that is the one I want to talk about today.

See aside from Carter’s growling and attacking anyone who comes close to him (outside of his inner circle), he is also constantly barking. And in hearing that, we can relate it back to people we also know in life who are constantly talking about themselves right? Ahhh now you get it.

As a teacher and mentor at Lotus Wellness Center, I frequently have one or two students who disrupt class flow with their personal stories, oversharing or wanting to discuss their own issues in class. For many students it is annoying and I frequently get a stern talking to from students after class either in person or through email.

 “Uma you need to be a better moderator in class. I didn’t come here to listen to someone else talk about their issues.”

“Uma I am paying for class to hear you speak!”

“Uma you need to talk to her and put her in her place. Why does she take up so much time in class talking about her stuff?”

Thankfully I managed to find a common ground between my need to let these people speak and also respect class time so we don’t run over or miss anything I actually have to teach on.

You are probably wondering at this point, but why Uma? why even allow them the chance to divert class attention? Because like Carter, the people who bark the loudest need the most attention and compassion.

See I realized a long time ago that people who take up class time discussing their life or struggles or accomplishments, just needed a place to talk….because more than likely they don’t have the support system in their own lives where they either are appreciated or honored for their gifts and achievements. In worst case scenarios, they may be in unhealthy relationships or surroundings where not only are they not recognized, but they are also criticized for every little thing they do. What a life to be in!

 I mean think about it, why would people want to willingly talk about themselves, share personal information or ‘brag’ about their accomplishments? What are they seeking?

Of course the first things that come to mind are fame, recognition and accolades. Yes that is true, but dig deeper. Why would someone want recognition or praise? Many reasons can come up but for me the most pressing ones are: Validation, Approval and Love.

 I had a friend who would constantly talk about her achievements to me and I would always respond with support and enthusiasm. Later on she confided in me that she frequently turned to me to talk about her accomplishments because she couldn’t do it with people in her inner circle as they would be negative or condescending. How tragic!

 Sometimes when people talk about their accomplishments in life, we tend to feel like they are showing off or bragging, so we develop hurt feelings or feel like they are trying to put us down. Maybe some people are truly like that (pray for them!) but for the most part, people just want to celebrate a job well done and receive validation for that.

 Can you give them the validation and approval they are seeking?

Test it out in your own life. I am sure you have someone like this you know. An over talker, or over sharer that you maybe see in social settings, business meetings or even family gatherings. Wherever you see them, practice being mindful, develop compassion and if you can, hold space. Everyone needs love and attention, and if they cant get it at home, where else do they turn to? Which ever social situation where they feel accepted and safe. It is a compliment really to you…that someone feels safe enough to share what they feel or do. See the compliment behind the actions and respond by showing up and being supportive. I guarantee it will change the lens on your world view.

In closing, I want to address the people that read this blog and identify themselves as this kind of person. I know you are reading and probably thinking, “Oh my God this is me! Is this how people view me? as a nuisance and disruptive?” but I ask you not to berate yourself or feel shame or pity. Remember that we are ALL working on something or some aspect of ourselves that we are seeking to change. Today the focus is on you, but tomorrow the focus will be on someone else. There is no shame in learning, processing and growing, there is only encouragement and support.

The next time you feel the need to overshare or take up someone else’s time and feel it is inappropriate, ask yourself, “What am I seeking by sharing this story with the group?”

“How can I share the group so the focus is on the topic and not on me?”

And if you are really truthful with yourself, allow the question to come up, “Why do I need others approval and I can’t develop it for myself?” In that question alone, you will be amazed at what comes up and the growth that can develop for it.

 love and light,

xo Uma

Getting through a Psychic Attack

psychic-attack

What exactly is a psychic attack? 

It is an occurrence that happens to you without your consent and meant to bring harm directly or indirectly to you. From what I have learned, there are two types of psychic attacks out there:

 1) Intentional/Direct attack:

This is the attack we dread. Someone intentionally sends bad energy, thought forms, words or actions in your direction. Ooooohhh it gives me the creepy crawlies to just think about it! I mean, you got to be a very unhappy or vengeful person to intentionally want to harm someone right? I shudder to think that there are people out there in the world like this, but hey, we turn on the news everyday and witness it on a physical plane (mass murders, suicide bombers etc..) so why should it be so hard to believe there are people who would do bad to someone on an energetic plane?

 This kind of attack is not limited to witches. Yes there are absolutely witches who can cast spells or perform voodoo on others to create a psychic attack either for personal or financial reasons (paid to do this work) but the majority of intentional psychic attacks come from regular people. It is so easy these days to google stuff. Your boyfriend broke up with you? No problem, find a bonding spell out there and cast it. Because your intention is strong, it will most likely work. The thing to note here is that while you may have your short term gift received in him coming back to you, it will most likely not last long term (he has free will) and also the Universe is taking notes. Nothing ever happens without retribution. This is what we call karma.

 I remember I had a young male client come in to see me for energy work. In receiving his weekly treatments, he felt comfortable to open up and share about his life. He said he was a wizard and worked with black magic. I told him good for him and to be careful because karma is in full effect, what you put out there, you get back. He didn’t listen to me and continued on his path.  I heard from him months later and was sorry to hear that life had crumbled around him. He was in a stressful situation and he couldn’t even afford to book a session with me and asked if I could just give him some free advice. I said sure, stop dabbling in black magic, pray for help and trust and wait on God to provide. I don’t think it was what he wanted to hear as he never called back but you know that is really the best advice I could give.

 2) Unintentional/Indirect attack:

 The majority of psychic attacks fall under this category. It is made up of regular people not getting their way and being immature about it.

 Think about a time when someone really hurt you emotionally. Yes absolutely, think of a breakup or a falling out with someone close to you. If you have ever uttered one or more of these phrases, then chances are you sent a indirect attack to another person:

– Oh she makes me so mad, I wish she would get what’s coming to her!

– He broke up with me, fine, I wish his life is miserable without me

– I can’t stand to see her with someone else. I hope she dates a loser worse than me.

– I wish a car would run her over and just end her life!

Sounds creepy right? Even now reading it, I bet you are going “Oh I would never say that!” Honey, of course you would. When people are mad, they say the craziest things. This is why in spiritual communities, we talk about being careful with our words. Our words have vibrations attach to them and when we send it out, it has the possibility of manifesting especially if you have the right combination of:

– The sender has a high frequency/vibration and a strong emotional charge about the matter

-The receiver is weaker and worn down therefore their psychic defense system is lacking

Clearly those two people sound like the aftermath of a breakup, right? One is stronger and one is worn down and most times is the strong person sending the attack.

It is easy to fall in this category and this is why it is important to be super vigilant about your words and thoughts. A couple of years ago I wrote a blog about a situation between myself and my boyfriend at that time. We had a troubling argument that ended with him hanging up the phone on me. OOOOHHH I was livid! I called him back and told him, “Fine! Have it your way, we are done and I hope your life is s**t without me!”

Well weeks later when we reconciled and talked (with cooler tones) he brought it up and said that day was the worst day for him! After he got off the phone with me, he was racing to work because he was late and he got pulled over and got a speeding ticket. He got to work and then his supervisor docked him for being late and he was suspended for three days without pay AND when he went back to his car, he had a flat tire! OMG I felt horrible! I had noooo idea because I definitely didn’t want any of those things to happen to him! So ever since then, I am VERY mindful of my words and even when I am in a heated discussion, I am sure to wish the person love and light. It may be through gritted teeth, but hey! I said it right?

 SO now that you know about the different types of psychic attacks, you need to know what to expect when under an attack. There are definite signs and you have to be able to tell if this is indeed from an attack or just having a crap day or week.

 Symptoms of a Psychic Attack:

– Anger and Irritability

– Anxiety and Restlessness

– Sleeplessness/Insomnia

– Losing appetite/not eating

– Plants dying

– Dead insects around the house

– Miscommunication and frequent quarrels with the loved one in question

– Heart racing or chest pains

– Headache or pressure in the head region

– Stomachache or feelings of nausea

– Feeling lost, confused or disoriented

– Feelings of sadness or being under a heavy weight

The thing to keep in mind is this: these symptoms have to come out of nowhere. If you experience these symptoms on a regular basis, then that points to something deeper and you should not be reading this article but seeking medical attention from trained professionals who know how to respond to these symptoms!

One time I was under a psychic attack, I had no idea and it was a very strange situation for me. I am sharing it here in hopes that someone can learn from my situation and in case it happens to them, they will have an idea of what to do!

During that week I was out of it. So much so, my students were worried because I was not my usual self. I had a lot of anxiety and I felt like throwing up. My heart was racing and I couldn’t concentrate, I felt all over the place. What was going on?!

It was on a Saturday when I finished teaching my last class and after the last student left, I went out to my deck to go and sit in the Sun. I prayed and asked for guidance. I was led to create a Reiki ball and infuse it into my solar plexus region. I did it and felt a little calmer. With this tiny bit of calmness I was given the message to call my spiritual advisor.

 I couldn’t get a hold of my go to advisor so I did some research to find someone else. I was drawn to this woman who did tarot readings and I called her to see if she could help me. I had to think about what to ask because I was in such a cloud of confusion, I didn’t know where to begin…but as soon as spoke to me, she went right to my relationship with my partner. I thought that was uncanny for her to do as at that time our relationship had volatility and we were arguing a lot. She said he was under a psychic attack from someone from his past and it is affecting me too. Wow, this was validation because my partner had told me just days ago he felt a psychic attack around him when he was doing his energy work on himself. Amazing.

After talking to the reader, I alerted my partner to his accuracy in picking up on it and then I went to work on myself. Here’s some things I did:

Defending yourself in an attack:

1) Warm bath with Epsom Salts:

I immediately went to the bathroom after the reading, put a mix of epsom salts and lavender in the bathwater and sat in it. I made sure my toes and fingers were submerged so as the bonds began to break up, they could leave through my extremities. I sat in the water for about 10-15 minutes, until I felt calm and peaceful. Afterwards, I let the water out and then took a shower to wash off all remaining traces of negativity.

 2) Prayer, Affirmations And Intentions:

While I was sitting in the tub, I prayed the Lord’s Prayer first then I prayed my own prayer of protection and removal of curses/attacks and then I went on YouTube and found another prayer to remove curses. I ended all prayers by saying, “I send back this curse to whence it came sevenfold.”

See even though my reader named the person sending the attack, I did not name them. Why? Because it is not 100% known. What if, this person did not send it? Then you would be directing negative energy sevenfold back to them! That is some karma you have to deal with later on! It is best to say “whence it came” so it correctly goes back to its rightful owner.

3) Saran Wrap the Belly! 

This sounds weird I know but it is an old belief that power comes in and goes out from your solar plexus which is the midpoint of your upper part of your stomach. So when you wrap it in plastic you are not allowing your energy to go out or new energy to come in. Also if you couple this with the statement above, then you are removing the block and sending it back to its rightful owner.

 4) Protection Stones and Crystals 

The usual protection stones to have are the ones related to the root chakra meant for grounding and protection. These are generally black stones such as hematite, onyx and tourmaline but can also include tiger’s eye  and obsidian.

I took three grounding stones and placed them over my solar plexus under the wrap and slept with them that way. I also laid out crystals on the bed to my right side, I included rose quartz, clear quartz, amethyst and tiger’s eye.

Aside from doing these things you can carry the stones around in your pocket and it is said to block an attack, carry it on your left side because that is where attacks come in from. You can also wear the stones in jewelry around your neck, wrist, fingers or ankles.

 5) Aromatherapy 

I have a diffuser in my room and I put in a blend of oils known for their spiritual protection and grounding properties. The oils I used were frankincense, cedarwood, sandalwood and clary sage. (need oils? buy quality oils here)

6) Chakra Clearing and Reiki

At this point I have spent two hours of protective rituals so now I am sleepy…which is a good sign because remember I haven’t slept in a week due to the insomnia! I took a selenite wand and went through each chakra clearing them using intent and Reiki and by the time I got to my root, I was so exhausted I knocked out. I woke up eight hours later feeling so refreshed, peaceful and calm. Wow an experience.

So whatever you are going through, take some time to process and tap into the universal consciousness to read your situation (like I did sitting in the sun and connecting in). Once you get directed into what you need to do, don’t be lazy! Get up and do it! And always, always have faith and trust that you will be taken care of no matter what.

 love and light,

Uma

Revisiting our old wounds

broken heart

HI there! Uma here on this wet and cold, dreary day. What happened to Spring?! Forecast tells us that the DMV area is in for a wet and soggy weekend with large chances of rain and flooding. Wow!

As I sit patiently waiting for the Spring/Summer weather to kick in, it became apparent to me how life imitates art and vice versa. Just when I thought I was nearing the end of the cold/wet season of Winter, the old season gives it one last hurray. Life imitating art. How many of us can relate to this in our personal lives? Just when we thought we completed a cycle, the wheel turned again and we found ourselves embroiled in past traumas yet again.

I once read Sonia Choquette’s book, “Walking Home: A Pilgrimage from Humbled to Healed.” It talks about the month long walk she took across the legendary Camino de Santiago, an 820 kilometer trek across Spain. I was fascinated about everything she encountered on her walk both in the outer world and her inner self. She was fighting herself as she walked, discarding old thoughts and belief patterns that no longer served her, working through pain and heartache and I was rooting for her! As the chapters wore down and I saw the pages lessening, I knew we both were going to come out of this experience ok, wiser and more grateful. HOWEVER! Three chapters (three more walks to the end) in she encounters a situation with some of her new friends she made on the path and a lot of old feelings and behaviors came into full effect. Even though it was more the other people’s actions and not hers, she was still affected by it. SAY WHAT?! I felt like saying, “Sonia we just spent a month walking the trail and letting everything go, why is this happening NOW?”

 Enter consciousness. Because this is the way life is.  We by nature, are a species that is constantly looking for ways to evolve. It is innate within us to want to do better, be better and live better. As we seek different avenues from where we were, in the process of getting to where we want to be, we will encounter difficulties. And this is what separates the men from the boys, as they say.

 Your old paradigms are the ways you use to be and the ways you use to think. Don’t be hard about it or disown it! It served its purpose at that time. I love it when people who have known me a long time try to give me a compliment about my “new” life and in doing so, they feel the need to put down my “old” life.

“Remember when you were a stuck up snob?”

“Remember when you were an angry girl?”

“Remember when you were mean and uncaring?”

I know their hearts are in the right place, and in their effort to compliment me now on all the lifestyle changes I have made, they wanted something to contrast it to. I get it, but here’s the thing. I am not sorry.

Due to life and my own reasons, I was absolutely a stuck up, angry and uncaring person. Look out for my autobiography, I go more into detail about it then! And at that time, that behavior and presence was needed. At that time. Now, I am in a different environment, one which allows me to authentically be myself and there is no need to defend myself or actions, so I can relax and be more comfortable in my skin. Sounds familiar?

 Don’t be ashamed of who you use to be before you found your spirituality, your peace, your Zen zone. You were that way because you had to be. Now you can afford to be something else, why? Because you are evolving.

However just because you have decided to do something better for yourself, doesn’t mean the world is ready to let go of its hold of you. It will make any attempt necessary to keep you in the illusion that this reality had over you. Don’t fall for it.

When you are making the most progress, expect things to take a turn for the worse. This is natural and by no means, is it meant to stop you. It is meant as a challenge for you to surpass, to have and claim victory over. You can do it, you know why? Because many of us do and this isn’t your first rodeo. Last time I checked, you passed all challenges 100% of the time and you are still here.

When you look at famous and successful people like Oprah Winfrey, Steve Jobs and Albert Einstein, they all have something in common. They hit many obstacles along the way but they refused to give up. They didn’t have the mindset that obstacles are real or permanent. They may have slowed down or diverted from the path, but they kept going nevertheless.

It is always darkest before the dawn, may be more a motivational metaphor than an actual scientific fact but i like it because in life it has been proven true. Whenever I hit a speed bump, and it seems like everything is falling apart around me, that is the time I am filled with elation because I know that bright sky is coming and it wouldn’t be too much longer now.

If you find yourself in a dark phase right now, hold on tight because your blessings are right around the corner. Trust and Believe and watch the miracles light up your night sky.

 Until next time, love and light always

Uma

Breaking up with Crystals

rose quartz

It happened again! My beautiful rose quartz crystal broke. As it fell to the ground this morning shattering one piece off of its perfectly sculpted merkaba design, I felt my heart shatter with it too. This is the fourth rose quartz that has broken in my vicinity and today, only today I understand there is a message for me in it.

 The first time I cannot remember the timeline but it was between 2013-2014. I visited India in March 2012 and bought beautiful rose quartz mala beads. Oh how I loved it! It was so beautiful and polished and felt so loving in my fingers. I would wear that particular set more for show and less for chanting as I used my rudraksha beads for that. I was so heartbroken when the mala beads broke and because it was so long ago, I don’t remember how it did. I did entrust it to a friend to repair but to this day I have not seen my beloved mala beads again. I know some of you might think, well simply call the girl and ask her back for your beads! Well I did, several times but to no avail. I figured it was Spirit’s way of saying to me, this is no longer for you. So I obliged.

 The second time a rose quartz piece broke for me was exactly a year ago when my partner and I drove down to Georgia to teach a Reiki I class. I wear crystal bracelets on my wrist and after we wrapped up our trip and was getting on the road to head back home, my beautiful bracelet got tangled up with some other stuff and when I pulled on it, the whole thing fell apart. In the parking lot of Subway where we stopped to get sandwiches for our trip home. At the time I didn’t think anything of it because it was a bracelet given to me from a friend who was no longer in my life. I felt that whatever connection was between us was over and in it being over, the bracelet no longer needed to be with me.

 The third time involved my rose quartz pendulum. I had taken it out for mentorship class one month and admired its beauty and in that short space of time, it easily and gracefully fell from my hands and broke the tip off the pendulum. Sigh.

It is only today however that I have put together that four times the same stone broke for me!  Now I still have rose quartz in my home in its natural rock shape but it seems whenever I try to wear it, it just jumps off of me. What to make of it?

 If you google articles on this topic you will find a whole host of answers as to why stones break. I tend to believe and follow the 5 reasons below as to why a stone breaks in your possession. Here they are:

 1) You no longer need that particular vibration/outgrew it: When we are drawn to a stone, it is said spiritually we are seeking something we don’t have within ourselves and by having the stone, it helps to fill us up. So if you needed protection and took to wearing a hematite bracelet and it breaks, the understanding is that you have fulfilled your own protective measures and can stand in your power now.

 2) The attachment to the person is over: Sometimes people give us gifts (not only stones) and when it breaks, it is a signal from Spirit that the connection is over. I remember I had a very rocky relationship with an ex boyfriend for two years and towards the end, I was packing my suitcase and a very expensive bottle of perfume he gave me broke. My mom laughed and said “Well I guess that’s over.” She was so right! A couple weeks later it was over for us.

3) It is saturated with negative energy: If you chose a stone for healing, wonderful! That is what healing stones like to do! So if you are conscientously using it every day with intent, the stone will respond by removing some of that negative energy from you until it is filled at which point it will shatter or break. It is not advisable to keep the stones around after this cause because it needs to be disposed of.

 4) It does not resonate with our energy: This reason occurs more at the beginning of a relationship as in when you first buy it and within a couple of hours or days, it breaks. The stone is saying to you, we do not match! For example, if someone bought rose quartz and soon after it broke,  we can see how the qualities of rose quartz is love and compassion and it will not blend well with someone who has a temperamental and judging attitude.

5) Divine Intervention: and sometimes Spirit/Angels/Guides/Deceased loved ones just want to plain get your attention! It could have been your favorite amethyst they broke or a lamp, just look at me! In this situation when something breaks, stop and close your eyes. Do you feel anything? Do you hear anything? This is how you decide whether there was an entity involved or not.

 Regardless of the reason, broken crystals need to be either fixed if they can be or disposed of. With my beloved rose quartz crystals, I bury them in my yard so their unconditional love and beauty can still be a part of my home and life.

So what do I think is happening for me with my own stones? I went with #1. In each scenario I was involved in some sort of spiritual activity (chanting, Reiki, teaching and now daily sadhana) and I do feel like I am growing spiritually with all these activities. I guess it is a price I have to pay as I steadily continue along my path, but you know it is also a lesson for me. To always remember to not be attached to anything or anyone in this life.

 Today I bury my rose quartz pieces but my spirit is lifted as Spirit gives me confirmation I am on the right path. And so it is.

 Until next time,

Love and Light,

~Uma~