Grateful for Pain

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Today it is Thanksgiving 2020 and everywhere across the US, people are celebrating things to be grateful for. As am I……but today my mental processes took me back to the beginning of this year and throughout it. So here is my truth, I am thankful for the pain of 2020.

Let me explain the many ways (briefly) I was hurt this year and what I gained of it.

In January I had a surgery that went wrong and I nearly died. It was supposed to be a simple surgery of thirty minutes but two hours later it wasn’t and I lost more blood than the medical team accounted for. I couldn’t wake up after surgery and lost a lot of blood, so much so that it took 6 bags of blood to pump into me to bring my heart rate back. I was not coherent for most of this but from the stories of my partner, family and staff, I understood it was a close call. While I may not remember all the details of this experience, I very vividly remember being on the other side temporarily and meeting my beloved grandmother who passed away a few years ago. Aside from the excruciating pain of surgery and trying to come back, I had to deal with the emotional repercussions of losing my life and being on the other side for a brief moment.

After that scare, I suffered with mental pain as I had to adjust to being back here on the earth plane. I was depressed. Seeing firsthand how fleeting life is and seeing the other side of life (the beyond), I suffered with depression for a few months because I felt so…..lacking. Was I proud of the life I lived? Did I help enough people? Was I more kind than angry? I fell short in all of these areas and judged myself tremendously. I also missed my grandmother who was and still is an important figure in my life. To see her even so briefly invoked a lot of the old pain of losing her and I had to grieve for her again. Painful.

Then I caught COVID. Yup, right after I came home from the hospital. They didn’t know to test me then for it so they tested me for influenza and everything else but it came back negative. I knew it was COVID because I had a fever of 103 for a week, no taste and no smell and no energy. I just wanted to sleep forever. The pain of COVID drove me over the edge and at this time I also had suicidal thoughts because I felt like life would never be the same for me. I felt so beaten down first by the surgery and then by covid that I started entertaining thoughts of ending my life really to end the pain. Painful.

After I recovered from both the surgery and COVID, I was ready to go back to work but of course the state mandated quarantine came in and I was out of business for three months. In those three months I had to let my whole staff go and downsize from two offices to one. I moved classes and services online and survived but the intense work of completely reorganizing my life and career while still having fresh stitches from my surgery proved too much and I broke the stitches. I now had a very LARGE open wound that put my health back into jeopardy. Doctors were throwing around words like second surgery and at home daily nurse aide which did happen. Everyday I had to endure a nurse pushing a cotton swab INTO the open wound to check the length of it before she cleaned and bandaged it. I remember I would lie there and not cry but tears would silently roll down my cheeks.

You reach a point where there are no more words beyond the pain, you just accept it and receive it without objection.

Beyond Painful.

I recovered. Took me four months but the wound healed, no second surgery was needed and then the business I own somehow miraculously thrived. Whew. We are now in the middle of 2020 and I am beginning to feel……hopeful. Life may get back to what it used to be right? We will come out of this right?

Of course we will but not before one last painful experience, the biggest one of them all-the end of a 5 year relationship with my soulmate, my business partner and my best friend.

I called it off in August due to private reasons and it….broke me. Beyond painful. Gut wrenching tragedy is how I would classify it. This man was MY man and to be my man for all of eternity. But as incidents go, it wasn’t meant to be and when it was time to go, I did. Obediently but not willingly. He was my everything and I really at this point wanted to just give up. Really give up.

I made a will and I made plans with the Universe to check out. No I wasn’t contemplating suicide (heck no!) but I was just in a place of….. acceptance. I couldn’t see how I could move forward in any area of my life- health wise, career, personally or romantically.

Everything died in 2020 and I wanted to die with them.

Painful endings.

And this is where my gratitude came in.

Because the pain that was constant for 8 months did something to me. At first the pain did just that, caused me pain! Hot seering, burning, blinding pain where you rather die than continue on.

But it’s funny being human….we tend to adapt.

After a few months of some of the most excruciating pain I have ever felt (my wound healing needs a seperate blog), I learned to live with pain. It no longer bothered me. I awoke with it and went to bed with it. I made peace with it and pain in some ways even became my friend.

I learned how to read pain. Seering pain meant slow down Uma. This is all you can handle. Constant pain became the backdrop to my life and I learned to smile while gripping my leg to ease it. I learned how to carry on a conversation with a nurse while she jabbed cotton swabs into my open and raw flesh without wincing or screaming. I learned to share love with others even when love left my bed. I learned how to give this year.

That is what pain taught me, how to give.

And I gave. Oh God how I gave.

I gave money to help struggling families even when I was struggling.

I gave my time to arrange house visits and meal plans for struggling families even when I had no time or meals for myself.

I gave tears for others’ pains over mine.

I gave energy to keep others going even when I was drowning.

I kept going because I was going to be damned if pain would win over me.

And you know what? It didn’t.

It gave up and in giving up, it released me to a whole new life. A life I couldn’t see because I was too steeped in pain. A life that is so much different than before. A life I dreamed of.

My health is better than ever and I’ve lost quite a bit of weight and continuing to drop as my new body gets into the flow of LIVING.

My career started to flourish because as I let go of things and people, the presence of ME became more apparent and who knew? The people wanted ME all along. I started booking up and classes were filled again. I was in awe.

My relationships got interestingly better. I now surround myself with girlfriends who are open to authenticity and vulnerability. We don’t hide who we are from each other. We share our mistakes openly and our regrets as much as we do our joys and happiness. I feel supported and truly loved for who I am not who people want me to be.

And love…..well in the love department, that door is still open but I will say this. I have met some incredible men that have motivated me to believe in love again. One in particular opened my heart so wide, it shocked me. I feel like a teenager in high school again when I am around him and that in of itself is worth the experience of dating him regardless of if it works out or not. He gave me the desire to love again and I will be eternally grateful to him for that small mercy.

So this Thanksgiving I am alive and healthy, I am with my family in South FL and I am surrounded on a daily basis by love and truth. I am so incredibly thankful and grateful for the pain of this year.

Friends, we all went through the ringer of 2020, but after reading this little blog of mine, I ask you…..are you grateful for your pain too? Can you see the rainbow after the dark clouds? What did this blog mean to you and what awareness do you have now of your own pain and the lessons it brought?

I hope you do take the time to reflect on these questions because whether I know you or not, this is my prayer for you. “Be happy, be healthy, be peaceful, be love and in the end, do not fear pain, embrace it.”

Be it all because you deserve it.

Happy Thanksgiving and I love you.

xo Uma

Uma Alexandra Beepat is the published author of the Awakened Life by Balboa Press Publishing and the owner of The Lotus and The Light Metaphysical Center in NOVA.

Uma is a bonafide mystic who looks to the patterns and signs in life and lives accordingly. She is also a wild gypsy queen that is a Capricorn Sun, Gemini Moon and Sag Rising. Fun times!

What does it mean to be Spiritual?

I had a friend who was a bit of a cynic (well he still is) and he said one time to me, “You gotta love the Spiritual people. It’s pretty much a bunch of lame-Os who are too lazy for religion and too scared to be atheist.”

After I had a good belly laugh about it for oh say two hours, I had to stop and think about it….I mean it had some truth to it, didn’t it?

I spent the next few days testing out his theory by asking innocent bystanders (ok my clients and students at Lotus), if they were religious or spiritual and what did that mean to them.

I received interesting feedback with the majority of answers corroborating his theory. Most people don’t know or have an explainable idea of what it means.

The most popular answer I got was, “Well I am definitely not religious, I would say I am more Spiritual because I believe in a God or the Universe.”

Me: “Ok do you have a set practice as a Spiritual person?”

Them: “No not really, it’s what I feel like really. Some days I meditate, some days I go to the yoga class at my gym and some days I eat cheetos on the couch. It’s all about balance!”

Me: “Uh huh got it. But is there something specific you do that can identify you with other Spiritual people?”

Them: “Well I do wear mala beads and most Spiritual people wear mala beads. It’s a sign of our Spirituality.”

Me: “Do you know how to use a mala bead?”

Them: “There’s a use for them?!”

woman working girl sitting
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Trust me when I say she is a sweetheart. A bumbling sweetheart but sweet nevertheless.

I had a bit of shell shock and identity crisis as I realized I was probably seen this way as well! I mean I own a Wellness Center and Massage School and wear mala beads! OMG am I a Spiritually Unevolved person? Is that how the world sees me?

Cue *dramatic fall to the floor with hand covering my eyes*

Back then I took a whole lotta offense to what my friend said, to the answers I got back and to somehow me being lumped in this category. I decided then and there that I needed to have a firm answer on what being Spiritual meant for me and to me so if anyone asked, I would be better prepared to answer.

I came up with 3 reasons why I am Spiritual and I am sharing it here in case it resonates with you. Feel free to use them! I have no rights over these ideas, and hey maybe if we were all well-equipped with answers, the rest of the world will take us seriously, have a green tea and calm the f**k down. Here we go:

  1. I believe in All the Religions

In my younger years (ages 9-28) I studied most of the major religions. I read the Bible front to back (twice), Koran, Bhagavad Gita, Yoga Sutras and the Tao. What I found was similarities amongst them all. More similarities than differences. Later on in my 30s, I found Wiccan and Paganism and noticed similarity in dates to Christian important holidays (Christmas and Easter) and similar symbolism.

As I matured, I realized I didn’t feel comfortable owning a title. You could call me Christian because I liked to go to Church (still do occasionally). You could call me Hindu because I practice yoga and meditation daily. You could call me Muslim because I enjoy fasting during the Ramadan season. You could call me Pagan because I have a deep love of earth rituals and Mother Nature. If I identified with one religion, I would neglect the other spiritual practices I employed.

2. I am more concerned with my Purpose than my Needs

Now this is in no way a jab to anyone, it is a revelation unto myself. I grew up in a typical family with two siblings and parents who were striving for better things. We all do. My family like everyone else wanted a better future. My family unlike some families came from humble beginnings in a third world country.

Somewhere along the way, i got sidetracked, bamboozled, led astray by the sirene call of the Spiritual realm to seek my path and purpose in life specific to me. I didn’t want to exist on the earthly realm anymore for pain and pleasure, I wanted significance in finding a way to make a living that contributed to the wellbeing of others. I opened a Wellness Center and then later a Massage School before personally venturing out to speak, teach and write on what I know. The call of the Divine to help, uplift and inspire others was a deeper call than the need for public fame, fortune and membership in the right clubs and societal groups.

When I refer to myself as Spiritual, I refer to this need, this desire to find out my purpose in life and live it accordingly. Again I will stress the importance of recognizing that it is a focus on what I do want and not what I am moving away from. Many of my loved ones still pursue a materialistic life and you know what? I love them immensely and have no judgment. Being Spiritual for me in this aspect is about learning to understand me and why I am here, not about judging someone else’s path or story.

3) The CIA is everywhere

Living the Spiritual life means coming from a place of CIA all the time everytime. What is the CIA?

C-Compassion

I-Intent

A-Awareness

It is so easy to get caught up in the drama and trauma of life, to take things personally, to get easily offended, to make judgments and to develop this us vs. them mentality. I didn’t want that anymore. I did it for a large part of my life, and it brought nothing but dissatisfaction, hurt and envy to my life. My anger raged and this fire consumed me all the time. I wanted out and I got it when I started living with a CIA perspective.

Compassion teaches me to see things from someone else’s perspective, to continue to love them where they are and to hold space instead of react when things aren’t going right.

Intent teaches me to have intention before I DO ANYTHING! Whether I am about to eat food, cross the sidewalk, take a drive or speak to a class, I remind myself of my reasons for doing so and maintain intent in the transactions.

Awareness teaches me to continuously watch, observe, monitor and eventually self-correct on my behaviors if they are out of alignment with my path and purpose, if they are hurtful to others or if they could be done better. This last one is a doozy. I have time and time again reached out to people I have wronged and apologized. Sometimes it is accepted and sometimes I am the receiver of a verbal lashing out. It is hard work to admit you are wrong and even harder to be penalized for it, but yet my awareness will not let me off the hook. Into the darkness I  must go to apologize, yes for them but mostly for me. I need to be better, do better and live better everyday within my conscience.

There is one more big reason why I call myself Spiritual instead of a follower of a particular religion or an atheist. In realizing it, I guess in the end, I have alot in common with the bumbling sweetheart from earlier who couldn’t put it in words what she knew in her heart to be true. In the end, I am like her Spiritual because I Believe. 

I believe in a Higher Power, God Consciousness or The Universe.

I believe we are Souls having a Human Experience. 

I believe in the sanctity of Life, the harmony of man and the peace of a utopian society. 

Hmm, sounds like the decree of a new religion, possibly Umaism?

Nah. I think all of the religions currently existing got this Belief thing covered.

I rather say I am Spiritual, live a decent life, don’t worry what others are doing and focus on how I can be of contribution to society.

Wear your Spiritual badge proud and loud. Let’s all share our love of all things Spiritual with pride

uab-web-5Uma is the owner of Lotus Wellness Center and Lotus Signature Massage School in VA. To learn more about this crazy Spiritual chic, check out http://www.umalotusflower.com

I don’t do KnockOffs…

I am not a flashy person with nice, name brand things. It’s true! In fact, most of my name brand things come to me generously through my mom, dad and brothers who like the flashy things and every now and then on a birthday or Christmas occasion, like to get me one too.

When I do get the flashy things, I love it. I love it because it’s good quality stuff and the difference in the price DOES make a difference in the feel, durability, dependability and experience of the product.

When I was in college, I made do with Payless shoes and Walmart purses. I am not knocking them, hey they worked for me for a long time. But as I got older, I wanted more. I didn’t want my shoes to only last the summer or my purse to make it to a year and then shred on me. I wanted good, quality products that could last a bit longer so the turnaround on them would stretch. I am really not a shopper so I delay the process for as long as I can bear. If I am buying something, please Lord let it last my lifetime so I don’t have to go shopping.

At this point, some of you might have started to wonder if I am off my rocker. “Uma done did it now and lost her damn mind sitting her talking about shoes and purses.”

Or have I? (cue evil laugh and rubbing of hands together)

Maybe not. You know there is a purpose to this blog, so hang in there, I am getting there.

I am talking about quality versus quantity and real versus artificial because I feel the need to remind people that in life, if you take the quick route, you will eventually get what you paid for.

At my center I teach a variety of classes; some certification classes that follow the protocol of the parent company I am subscribed to and the rest Spirit Led. Spirit Led just means that Spirit woke me up (usually around 3am) and channeled a class to hold. I obediently follow through and it becomes one of the most amazing experiences myself and the students experience. It’s not made up, it is destined. 

As fun as my job is, there is the little quirks that pop up from time to time. In the beginning it was “nail on chalkboard” bearable but now, after so many years and so many times, its more like an annoying fly that buzzes too close to your pina colada on the beach. Shoo fly, don’t bother me!

One of these quirks is my observation of how many people that take a class or two in metaphysics and then become teachers in a turnaround faster than you can say, “Olly Olly Oxen Free!”

I remember working with a business coach awhile back and after assessing my center and what I do, she made the remark, “I have to give it to you-you create classes and teach and basically you are teaching your competition. Well isn’t that a doozy.” It is.

Now let’s be clear. I am not knocking anyone who has a life path and destiny to become a spiritual teacher or to own a wellness center similar to mine. In fact, there are many who created their businesses and have my stamp of approval with them because Spirit told me they would go far and do well as is their calling. I am only too happy to oblige.

But for the few, who do it for money, fame and recognition…. this is a post for you. 

Now some of you at this point might think I am being mean, shady or condescending. You have a right to your perspective but hear me out, and if you can stomach it, read through the rest of this blog before you make a firm decision that Uma is catty and immature. I am pretty sure you will have a different opinion by the end.

I am writing this blog in hopes it reaches the people who are doing these things and if it does, this is what I would like to say to them: “Stop it. You are doing more harm than good.”

Now why would I say that? Did I just pull it out from thin air? No.

Did Spirit tell me to say it to give people complexes? No.

Do I feel better or superior to others and feel the need to put people down? No.

I say it because if it is anything I can be known for in this lifetime, it is my integrity. I truly care about people. Most times people may think I don’t because I am not a warm, squishy kind of person but you know, my type of caring is not in that category. I am genuinely worried about people fulfilling their soul missions and making sure they are acting in authenticity and alignment with their purpose.

So with that being said, here are the reasons why a newbie student turned newbie teacher is not a good idea and why when you pay more or go with more, you get more:

  1. Newbie teachers break the cardinal rule.

Yes there is a cardinal rule of learning and this is how it goes: First you learn, then you DO and then you teach. Now depending on who you talk to, this can span months to years to decades. While I am a bit concerned about the timeline, I am more concerned with the concept.

My partner would laugh every time we took a class together. Immediately when we returned home, I would call up close friends or clients and offer them a session of what I just learned for free or at a discounted rate. My goal would be to get a set number of students in and practice the session. Usually by the end of the week, I have the protocol memorized and can do it easily without my manuals or handouts. This is the doing part of the protocol. Then after months or years of doing, I would feel confident to teach because I have seen all aspects (or alot) of the process and can handle situations as they arise.

I had one student learn a class from me in one month and then two months later she was offering the class AND at the cost I charged for the class. I was floored but I waited to see what Spirit would do. I knew this woman was not competent enough to teach this class, it was quite technical and had set procedures to follow. How could she possibly pull it off without even practicing it outside of the one session she did in class? I was worried and anxious thinking of her students who signed up and I prayed for them, that they would get alot out of the class and somehow it would all magically pull together to be a successful event. Well I didn’t even have to do that. Spirit ensured that class did not happen and as the days led up to it, one by one her students started dropping out. I was part relieved and also part sorry for her. I knew she needed that class for financial purposes but also my integrity said this was not right. Spirit agreed.

When you learn something, you need time to understand that thing. You need to sit with it, breathe it in, experiment with it and heck even fail at it. You have to mess up, try again and work it, work it, work it until you find your flow. Once you arrive at that point (however long it takes), you will know it’s time to teach it.

Usually I create classes because students ask me to create them. The way my process works is I get a message from Spirit to teach a class. I say, “That’s fine” but I need validation that this is meant to be and soon after that, the right people come my way to either collaborate or to be taught. That simple.

I became a past life regression therapist this way. I was working on a client, doing a regular reflexology session and as I was talking to my client, my voice naturally went into a hypnotic flow and my client went into a light trance. She started to recall a past life concerning an issue she was facing in her present day circumstances. There was alot of healing and tears that came from this process and I found it fascinating. I didn’t think about it anymore until months later when I was sailing on the river Seine in France and realized I was reading the book, “Many Lives many Masters” by the amazing Dr. Brian Weiss. I was being drawn to the path of past life regression and didn’t realize it. When I went home, I booked a class and got in to Dr. Weiss training program to become a past life therapist. It is still one of my favorite modalities to facilitate to this day.

I have never put up a class because someone else was offering it or to compete because the energy is wrong from the get go. And I have learned over the years of doing this, that if the energy and Spirit is not there, it is more work than necessary and shouldn’t be done. I have in fact CANCELED classes that had people in it! Why? Because the energy felt off and in acting in my integrity, I didn’t feel the students would get the same powerful delivery I could have delivered if I did it another time. As you can imagine this is frustrating to some but for those who know me and respect my process, they are relieved. Relieved to have a teacher who cares more about their experience than her bank account.

All this talk about money leads me to #2.

2. Newbie teachers are often in the grip of Ego not Spirit

I understand. There is no judgment here but a quiet request to really check in before you decide to offer this class you just learned. Are you sure you can pull it off? Will you do it justice? Will the student have a better experience with another teacher who has been doing it a lot longer than you? Do you have enough integrity to admit that?

When I teach Tuning Fork Therapy®, I RAVE about my teacher and the founder of the modality, Francine Milford. I WISH all my students could take it firsthand from her, the way I did. Francine is partly retired but comes out of retirement to teach from time to time (well at least for me!). I LOVE classes with her partly because its at her house in sunny FL and she makes me lunch too. 🙂 Mostly I love classes with Francine because she is so knowledgeable about everything and I always leave learning more than what I paid for.

I am proud to say that every teacher of Tuning Fork Therapy® in Northern Virginia came through me as I was the only person in this area taught personally by Francine Milford. I uphold this class to the highest respect because of that responsibility and also because students in my area cannot get a personal training from Francine unless they go to Florida to learn from her. So it is my responsibility I feel to give them as close an experience as I can to what she offers. It is nowhere near it of course! But still I try.

Francine sees my integrity in what I do and recently she gifted me 13 boxes sent by mail of over 225+ attunements and classes. Most of her life’s work, I now possess and my responsibility is to teach it to continue Francine’s legacy. As you can expect, I will take my time reviewing the classes and knowledge before offering it to students, because I want to make sure I teach it the way Francine would want me to teach it and to do the courses justice. It has to be right.

When I see Newbie teachers hustling to put up a class they just learned (and may not have been a good student at), I know they want the ROI quickly. I get it. When we spend money, we need to earn money but I believe there should be a pause button here somewhere and then a golden question to follow. A question like, “How does this work out for the student?”

DO you really feel you can deliver a wonderful experience and turn that student ON to the love of learning they are about to receive? Or will this be another failed class with let downs and disappointments?

Each class I offer, I prep for weeks and sometimes months before I actually step into a classroom. There is the outlining, storyboarding, mission planning, checks and balances, dry run through, emotional run through and spiritual run through before I even advertise the darned thing! And once it is advertised, there are more checks and balances, fielding Q&As and inventory before we get to class. Once in class, I hardly eat (or breathe) as I am so focused, tuned in, taped in and turned on to Spirit to deliver precisely what is needed for that group and by Spirit’s commands.

Newbie teacher are you prepared for all of that? Can you DO all of that? And lastly, are you interested in creating all of that?

One time I had a former client tell me they wanted to become a teacher. I knew this was a mistake. For one, my client was an extreme introvert so ummm….not sure how that would work.

I started to detail the work I did before, during and after class times and the amount of interpersonal communication required for EACH student and they backed down immediately!

“Oh heck no, I don’t want to talk to people that much! I don’t even like people!”

Bingo.

But you know how I saw that? Cause I am an experienced metaphysical teacher and highly intuitive person. I am trained to see what one cannot see at the present moment.

Usually when a Newbie teacher offers up a class, their drive is ROI, excitement, money, fame and/or significance. My advice is to take the time to learn what you know and trust that Spirit has your back. By rushing to put up an event you are not well trained in, you run the risk of messing up the class and not giving the student a pleasant experience.

There is no rush, no destination, only the journey. Trust the process. 

3. You get what you paid for

Sometimes I have potential clients call me for a session and when they realize my price, they would back out because “I am too expensive.” I once had a gentleman ask me, “Why would I pay you that rate for a session when I can go down the street and get it for ___(lesser amount)?”

I don’t even fight them on it. At that point, I agree with them and let them know that is a good deal and they should go there. Most times when I do that, I am met with silence on the phone. They didn’t expect me to say that and I guess they were hoping I would fight for their business. That’s not necessary.

Firstly, there are plenty of good, established healers in the area and I am sure if they go to someone else, they will get what they need. I have my clients, the people who want to see me and be seen by me. Other healers have theirs. We do not need to fight over this.

It is not my desire to work with everyone. I have no reason to. I made a call out to the Universe concerning the time of clients I want to see and so far, I have been getting my clientele. I am not hurting either. In the nearly ten years I have been working as an intuitive and healer, I have seen close to 10,000 clients. I know because I keep track of my sessions and I see roughly around 1,000 people/year.

My clientele come to me because they have been everywhere else and it is not working.

My clientele trust me to deliver the services they need and want with the highest integrity and passion I can bring.

My clientele do not fight me or question me on my services or prices because they implicitly trust that quality is more important to me than quantity as it is to them.

It is what makes me a genuine, real healer and teacher; not a knock off.

My reason for writing this blog is simple. I want you to know who I am and what I am about.

I love the work I do and it pains me to see charlatans degrade, abuse and villify my profession. Please people, let’s be more conscientious of what we are doing and how we are doing it.

The formula again: Learn. Do. Teach.

Some may say I made myself the whistle blower concerning this topic or the self appointed monitor. I am ok with those titles because we don’t have a regulating board of members or accreditation to our work. So someone has to say something and say it loud and clear. So I will.

You get what you pay for.

If you want quality, find the trusted, reliable, long standing healers/teachers in your community. It will cost you less in the long run.

My love and light with you until next time,

xo Uma

Untitled design (9)Uma Alexandra Beepat is an Intuitive Consultant, Metaphysical Teacher, Consciousness Coach and Published Author.

Uma owns Lotus Wellness Center and three other businesses in Northern Virginia.

For more information on Uma, visit http://www.umalotusflower.com

 

 

The Sin of Loving Yourself

I love myself.

I really love myself.

I love myself so much that sometimes people get offended.

They get offended because in loving myself, I fail to love them as hard as I love myself.

That is a fact.

There is a large population of people who are looking and searching for the best answer to the age old question, “How do I love myself?”

I am sorry but I am not in that group of people.

I somehow seem to be lumped in with the narcissists and vain, the “uppity” and snooty crowd because I have never doubted my brilliance, my divinity or the Goddess who resides within me.

However, because I honor that divine Spark within me and think of myself in a glorious way, I have been called the above names before. It’s a catch isn’t it?

I don’t need classes or books to tell me how to overcome my shyness or connect with my Inner Goddess. I don’t need workshops to help lift me up. I am already there. But because I am already there, and don’t need help on how to get there, I am outcasted and ridiculed. I am either the anomaly or a fraud; however I am not the real deal in self love, because well, I don’t look like what self-love is meant to look like. I am TOO confident, TOO good with my boundaries and TOO self involved. 

In this blog, I am addressing a small, overlooked issue that remains (to this day) overlooked because it seems insensitive to talk about it when clearly there are other people (the majority) on the opposite end of the spectrum who do not face this issue.

What is the issue?

The issue is that we have created a world to be in constant need of something and to deny the existence of those who have no need of anything. Specifically in the issue of unconditional love. 

See, I love myself unconditionally. What does that mean to me?

It means that no matter what I do or say or think, I still love me. I love me in spite of my faults, my glories, my weaknesses and my strengths.

I understand me and I know me. I know that despite what is exhibited on the outside, or what people’s perceptions are of me, they don’t know me like i know me. That’s why someone else cannot tell me MY truth or what I meant by what I did. That is their perception and they are entitled to it.

I love myself so hard that even when people tell me their perceptions of me and say it like it is fact not opinion, I don’t correct them, get defensive, attack or withdraw. I have enough love within me, that I can listen to what they say and still hold space for them and their opinions of me without feeling the need to respond.

When someone loves themselves unconditionally, they are afforded a freedom to live in the moments they create without guilt or regret over past mistakes or anxiety and restlessness about the future. They are able to navigate through life easily because they are peace with it all. Loving yourself affords you a freedom to be happy; despite what other people feel or think about you. It’s worth the isolation if anything!

So in realizing my super power (loving myself and accepting myself regardless of what the world thinks of me), I decided to share some tips if I may with you. Whether you are already in self love with yourself or asking that question, “How do I love myself?”, from my humble opinion here are some ideas to start with:

  1. Recognize that you are complete and whole already

In my opinion, the first step to self-love is realizing that there is nothing to fix or wrong with you. You are already there. Think of buying a fixer-upper first home. What are the feelings there? Excitement to own a home? Check. Excitement to renovate and recreate the original model to what you want? Check. Excitement of all the possibilities that will come by this purchase? Check.

The idea is that you are that original canvas sent from the master architect himself. You get to create the mural you want on it! However if you start off by denying the existence of the original architect, or doubting his work, or picking at perceived flaws with the canvas….then you are off to a rough start!

A better idea is to accept what is your canvas, what the master Architect has sent to you and create your mural as you wish. No doubting, wishing for something different or being critical. Instead be in a place of acceptance and love for what IS there as opposed to what isn’t. Get my drift? Self-love is about acceptance that you are quite perfect and stunning as you are, with no need to change, mimic or be someone else.

2. Choose your cheerleading squad carefully

As I have said before, I don’t give much thought to what people think about me. I am living this life for myself and by my terms. That being said, I tend not to associate with too many people. My acquaintances circle is large and my inner circle is a few I can count on one hand. I like it that way.

I once heard that Oprah is particular about what she hears, to the point when a car service picks her up, they are instructed not to engage in chit chat and not to play music. She doesn’t want to listen to the wrong stuff.

What is the wrong stuff? Gossip, slander, cursing, derogatory remarks. All these sounds can mess with your vibe, your vision, your flow. The same thing with having friends who cannot support you or stay in low vibe behavior.

“Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events and small minds discuss people.”- Eleanor Roosevelt. 

I once had a friend tell me I changed friends as often as people changed underwear. Ok, she exaggerates but there is a kernel of truth in there. My truth is I can be the BEST of friends with people, but once it goes south for me, I am out!

Now some of you might think, “Oh Uma but that is such a lonely road!” Nope, nope, nope it is not. See I have friends since elementary school days that are healthy, positive, successful and thriving. They keep me entertained.

I have parents, siblings and a whole host of cousins and relatives that flood my life with positivity, happiness and joy. They keep me laughing.

I have an amazing partner who teaches me, learns from me and grows with me. He keeps me in love.

And finally, I have my kids who mentor me in the new ways of the new world from their perspective. They keep me inspired.

You can mourn the few you lost along the way or you can celebrate the hundreds who are still there, still positive and still rooting for you. Choose wisely!

3. Understand it is all just an opinion

One defining moment in my life is when I stood up to a bully a couple of years ago (yes I was an adult and bullied!). She was supposedly a friend in my life but her behavior and actions were anything but. She was always critical of me and my life and one day, I had enough and looked her square in the eye and said, “That sounds wonderful, but you know what? It is your opinion I should do it that way and I don’t want to do it that way because my opinion is to do it differently. Your Opinion is Valid BUT YOUR OPINION DOES NOT DEFINE MY REALITY.”

I think she was shook up by the yelling part but it was part frustration and part epiphany when I said it. It’s true! She had an opinion. It wasn’t God’s truth and she didn’t get divine wisdom from the heavens into my affairs. It was just her thought process based off of the way she does things and thinks about things. Its ok, but it’s not gold.

As you learn to see everyone as opinionated people, it helps you tremendously to ease off them and not take it too seriously what they say.

Even if their way saves you $2.34 or 4  minutes, who CARES? Is your aim to get to your grave on time and saving money? Of course not! Your aim is to live your life YOUR WAY and you get to choose whose opinion you take into consideration and whose you toss out with the trash. Either way, don’t feel guilty about it. Just do you.

I can keep writing on this topic because it is my cornerstone of my work. Living authentically, boldly and by my rules and my decisions is important. I hope that this blog touches at least someone in a positive way. What I really want to say to you, is that you are perfect just as you are, you are loved and you matter.

Love and Light until next time,

xo Uma

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Uma Alexandra Beepat is a Consciousness Speaker, Metaphysical Teacher, Intuitive Consultant and Psychic Mediumship Mentor. Uma owns four businesses, is a single mom to two pre-teen boys and lives life large!

To find out more about Uma, visit  http://www.umalotusflower.com