Don’t feel good about it? Fix it!

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If you have been following social media, you may have seen me go through some visible changes over the past few weeks.

From the outside looking in, you may think, “Uma is in a world of drama!”

BUT actually I am not.

All of these changes were foreseen and I have been ready for them for quite some time. How?

Well about 12 weeks ago my friend Paulina and I decided to trade weekly Access Consciousness body process and BARS sessions in an effort to revamp our lives and make us manifesting machines. Whoa!

While we were prepared, we had NO IDEA just how much our lives would change with these weekly sessions! I started to live for myself and not for other people’s expectations. I started having way more fun than I have had in a long time. Sometimes I laugh so much, my cheeks hurt and that has happened twice this week alone!

As with everything positive, there is a negative association and for me it was the identification of certain events, people and situations from my life that was just beginning to feel heavy.

Getting rid of events and situations are easy because they are products without feeling. Changing relationships in your life is a bit harder because you have to take into account how someone feels and try your best to do it in such a way that they leave feeling empowered and not broken.

I always remember a favorite quote from Brenee Brown to deal with situations like this. It says, “Who you are is how you lead.”

My intent is not to hurt people and to also honor my change of heart. So with each situation, I walk carefully to honor them and me and pray to the highest Goddesses, that it all works out beautifully.

I can say without a doubt, so far it has. I’ve managed to release some working partnerships that no longer felt light to me while still respecting my business associates.

When you are faced with a situation you don’t feel good about, it is quite easy to change, the question is not HOW you can change it but IF you want to.

When I work as a life coach in helping people reset their mindsets, the biggest obstacle I come across is their desire to have a changed outcome without actually committing to any behavior changes. The desire is there but it is not strong enough to warrant change.

I am going to share with you three of my own personal tips that I use to create change in my life when I don’t feel good. I hope it brings joy and lightness to your life as it has for me!

  1. Be Realistic about your Plan and Outcome

When I am creating change about something in my life, the first thing I do is have a self pep talk about what will go down. For instance, it was brought to my attention recently that my October retreat was not selling as many tickets as it normally does for this time of year. Here was my pep talk:

Ok Uma you know from past experience that this retreat should have been sold by now but it hasn’t. Whatever the reason (COVID, Financial struggles, Lack of interest), it feels good to let it go. You know you may experience backlash from the community and the few people who already signed up and prepaid but brace yourself for it. Create time this week to deal with these energies and don’t get stressed. You got this!

By talking to myself (haha) and being realistic about the struggle that is coming up (cancelling an event, refunding clients, taking down ads) it puts me in a mindset of readiness for what is to come as oppose to lying to myself about it and then being caught unawares. Be prepared by facing the outcome and getting yourself mentally and energetically ready for it.

2. Put yourself First

There is a tendency in our lives to want to take care of others before taking care of ourselves first. Call it being a mom or a nurturer or just giving a damn, we like to help people.

Usually that is A-OK however not when you are dealing with a struggle that involves you. Make the committment and put measures in place to honor your thoughts, feelings and emotions and then look to taking care of others.

When you do this, you will feel lighter through the whole situation because you are simultaneously handling stress and providing means for your self care. It IS possible to come out of an unhappy situation feeling peaceful. Make the commitment to yourself first, honor it and it will give you the courage you need to address the struggle in your life.

When I recently went through the craziness in my own life, I kept setting up trades with my friends for my self care and scheduling days and weekends off to regroup and take care of me. I also allowed myself to move at whatever rate felt good. Some days I didn’t do a darn thing and some days I was up until 3am working. Honoring yourself and your energy takes many forms, learn to judge less and BE more.

3. Practice Heavy and Light Exercises

One of my favorite exercises (you probably had enough hearing about it) is the heavy light. According to Access Consciousness, what feels heavy to you is a LIE and what feels light to you is your TRUTH.

Hey Uma, do you want to go swimming with sharks?”

Hell NO! Immediately I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach so I KNOW it’s a lie to me!

Hey Uma, do you want to go on all expenses paid spa day trip with me?”

Yes Please! Immediately my shoulders relaxed and I felt a “brightening” around my heart. Message received.

The bottom line in dealing with not so good feelings is to be aware of that fact and work through it as best as you can. Sometimes we can do it on our own, sometimes we need the help of our social circles and sometimes we need professional help.

Don’t make a judgment, do what feels light to you and work at it. Your day in the sun is near so don’t get lost in the clouds. xo Uma

Uma Alexandra Beepat is a Soul Alignment Coach, Psychic Medium and Owner of the Lotus and the LIght Metaphysical Center. http://www.thelotusandthelight.com

Codependent or Healthy in Love?

codependent relationship

Relationships are a funny thing. We hear often that famous saying, “Can’t live with them, can’t live without them.” Isn’t that the truth?

Most times we say it in love and with laughter, but for some, this phrase is an actual statement into a deeper issue, one that supercedes fun, light and love. It’s about codependency.

What IS codependency? According to Wikipedia, codependency is the term used to describe a dysfunctional relationship where one person supports or enables another person’s addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility, or under-achievement.

Among the core characteristics of codependency, the most common theme is an excessive reliance on other people for approval and a sense of identity. Like whoa.

Aren’t we supposed to have our OWN identity in relationships?

While for most of us, we believe so, for some codependent people, the belief is that they are not complete until they are in a relationship and that person they are in love with, completes them.

jerry maguire

I mean who can forget that scene in the Jerry Maguire movie when he says those same words, “You complete me.” 

It sounds romantic and I am sure for some, it is a desire to hear these exact words but I urge you to STOP! It is another Hollywood scenario that sounds better on screen than in real life.

Remember 50 Shades of Grey? Very exciting movie and book, but think about it in real life. Think of it especially with a partner who may not be a milionaire and owns a hundred companies and looks like Christian Grey. Hey realistically most of us can’t or won’t attract that kind of guy into our lives in this lifetime (being real not pessimistic). Would it be as romantic if your guy lived on his friends’ couches and didn’t hold down a job? I thought so.

In life, we have to learn to discern what sounds more like a great fantasy or what can actually work in our life. Most times, romantic fantasies need to stay just there, in fantasy.

Here are three signs of a codependent relationship. If you notice some or all of these, hang tight. I got you. I will also talk about connections in love xo.

Signs of a Codependent Relationship:

1. Your Sense of Purpose is delayed as you tend to your partner’s needs 

When I was  younger, I was very  much caught up in a codependent relationship with a boyfriend. I was a rising star at my college and given many blessings to advance forward in my path, but truthfully, I cared more about how he felt than my future. I remember there was a leadership conference and each college in the NorthEast United States were allowed to send two representatives from their school. Of course I was selected to represent my school and guess what I did? I threw it away to spend the week with my boyfriend.

When you are in a codependent relationship, the other person seems more important than you. Their needs, their desires, their wants are catered to and yours barely are acknowledged.

To break out of this mold, (and yes you can) the power scales need to be balanced. Start by taking inventory of a month. Are you only doing activities your partner wants to do or are your needs met? If you notice a tipping of the scales in their direction, have a talk with them and let them know that this is an issue for you and you would like it to be more balanced in your relationship. Either they will agree with you or not, and then you get to decide how that goes. But for now, start with inventory. Take an honest look at your relationship and decide how it feels.

 In its broadest definition, a codependent is someone who cannot function from his or her innate self and whose thinking and behavior is instead organized around another person, or even a process, or substance.

2. You believe the other person is responsible for your happiness 

In the first sign mentioned above, it is expected that the scales are as balanced as they can be to make it an equal relationship. This balancing does NOT equal out to your partner catering to you to make you happy.

One time I was arguing with a boyfriend when I was 14. I remember this clearly because of what I said and his response.

Me: ” I am so unhappy! It is your responsibility to make me happy in this relationship!”

Him: “Well then we are screwed because it is not my job to make you happy, that is your job. My job is to focus on my happiness and together we create a happy relationship.”

Lord that boy was smart. Smart and right.

No one can make you happy. YOU know this! But yet, once we get in relationships, it seems like all logic goes out the window and for some of us, we turn into whiny little babies who need constant attention.

We start placing blame when things go wrong and never think to look at ourselves. Why is this?

Sometimes we place the heavy obligation of happiness on another’s shoulder because we don’t want to face the truth that the relationship is not meeting our needs. We may know that it is time to move on but fear of being alone or dying single, keeps us in place. Then when we stay, we become unhappy and place that blame on our partners’ shoulders.

Be the bigger person. If you are not happy in your relationship, leave. If you are not happy with yourself, get help. Whatever it is, do anything but blame your partner. Because you know what? If your partner truly is the source of your unhappiness, then go back to step 1 and leave. It really is that simple.

I believe some people feel if they complain about it, it will somehow magically change to what they want. This is not how the Law of Attraction works. In fact, the more you complain about a source of displeasure, the more of it you will attract. I have tried repeatedly to share this information with several people in my life and guess what happens? Absolutely nothing. They keep complaining, and they keep staying in the rut they are in. In life, you have to know when to help and when to walk away and for these individuals, I tend to walk away.

If you can’t create a happy life using the resources you were given or have attained in life, then no one else will do it for you. This is your burden to bear. Figure it out. 

3) You need to be around that person all the time 

When you are with them, you feel ALIVE and full of love and happiness. When you are away from them, you call/text/snapchat often. When you can’t reach them, you are dying on the inside. If you do have peace and quiet in your alone time, it is because you know they are at work or the dentist and can’t access their phone. You feel happy and content.

Sounds familiar?

Being alone is necessary. It is in our times of silence and solitude that we uncover the parts of ourselves that need the work or can do with some improvements. When you are around someone all the time, (and yes it can be the same person or different people), you are engaged in interactions. There is no time to reflect, meditate and do some self-analysis.

I think some people use people for constant companionship because they don’t want to have introspection! They know on a deeper level, there are some issues to sort out but don’t have the drive, interest or courage to do so.

I have met some highly functional and successful broken people and have been impressed! They have shrouded themselves in such a strong invisibility cloak, it would make Harry Potter jealous!

Try to factor in some alone time away from your partner. How does it feel?

If it brings up anxiety, stress or fears, then you are onto something. You may have hidden out in a codependent relationship for awhile but cleverly crafted it as, “We are a team” or “We do things together”.

No you are not. You were born into this world alone and you will go out alone. This precious partner of yours will not sacrifice their life to go with you at the end of your timeline. And more than likely, they will eventually move on and be with someone else until their end of time. This is natural because at the core of it, we each need to survive and thrive.

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Now that we have some signs of codependency, let’s look at some signs of a healthy relationship. For some of you, there is a possibility to change a codependent relationship to a healthy one so why not try now? Just because you have identified being in a codependent relationship, doesn’t mean you have to be stuck in it. Here are three signs of a healthy relationship:

1) You Respect each other’s Boundaries 

My partner loves riding his Harley and loves his dog. He will not tolerate anyone in his life that does not respect his need to ride and his time with his dog. I can tell you that I am not particularly interested in riding on the back of his motorcycle and I am not a pet owner or dog lover (I know shoot me). How do we make it work? We respect the boundaries.

I join him on his weekend bike rallies by either driving there with him or staying back so he can go with his friends who also love to ride. When we plan our schedules, we factor in time for him to go riding. I find something else to do. With his dog Silas, we include him in our plans and then we create events without him. We work together while respecting each other’s boundaries. 

When you truly listen to your partner, you are not listening to respond but rather to understand. What makes them tick? What sets them off? And what can you do in the process to respect their process while also respecting yours?

Boundaries are needed in relationships! It lets each person know the level of safety and comfort available based on needs. Once needs are respected, each partner can relax more into the relationship and develop deeper bonds.

Take a personal inventory of your own relationships now. Do you know your partner’s boundaries? Do you respect and uphold them? What can you do differently to show respect for what your partner requires?

When you respect your partner’s boundaries, you allow room for connection because they trust you. They trust that you will not hurt them, not by your words but by your actions. This means everything to a person. I know it does for me.

If you don’t know what your boundaries or your partner’s boundaries are, no problem! Start making a list! I like to make a page with three columns and write down all the things I want in a relationship, what I can compromise on and what I cannot or will  not tolerate. For example, I want a kind person in relationship, I can compromise on if they are a pet owner and I will not tolerate smokers. Once you make your list, ask your partner to do the same and it doesn’t matter if you have been together for 2 months or 20 years, start now in communicating! Boundaries can change over time as we age, so don’t be surprised if your partner says things that seem new to you. This is the process of connecting and if you stay with it, you will reach deeper levels of your relationship!

2) You have no problem saying NO to your partner

One time I was really into studying the ancient arts of tantric practice and I dragged my partner along with me. We were both in a room with our tantric teacher, me in a sarong and him in a sarong that barely covered his body. He looked delicious but uncomfortable! He went through the private session with me and loved it but he put his foot down and refused to go to a group class with nakedness where we talked about intimacy! He drew his line!

And you know what I did? I respected it. I didn’t push, beg, manipulate or anything of the sort. I agreed and found ways to continue my tantra study through books and online courses and then used the practices with him in the sanctity of our home.

In a relationship, you can say no. You don’t have to cosign to everything. Sometimes I see women doing the craziest things to please a man! Things they would never do but did it to keep his attention. Guess what happens? Invariably a breakup happens and those same women go bat s**t crazy! You know why right? Because they sacrificed their time, money and effort to be with him and they can’t for the life of themselves, figure out why he wouldn’t want to stay.

Say yes to the things that make you happy and interested to do. When my partner asks me to go visit his daughter in Myrtle Beach, hell yes please! When he asks me to go to a football game in the dead of winter, not so much.

You have to have a firm basis of stability in your relationship to be able to say no though. If you are insecure and unsure about yourself and the relationship, chances are you are going to keep saying yes to things even though you rather not. What happens is you will start to break down energetically and exhaustion sets in. You overextend yourself and you will feel it in the long run. Concerning your partner, you may shift blame to them for your tiredness or crankiness even though you were the one that said yes!

Save yourselves and your relationship this nightmare by just honoring where you are, what you need and what you can and cannot do. Trust me, they will love you for it and sometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder.

3) You have a life outside of your relationship

When I do relationship coaching, I invariable start out with my clients drawing a pie chart and having them fill in each pie piece with what is needed for a well rounded life. Some write health, love, social, money, career, spirituality etc…. And then I have them color in the pie pieces on a scale from 1-10 with 1 meaning little to no effort and 10 as maxium effort.

For my codependent clients, most times the love piece is fully colored in and for the other parts there is a lot of blank paper!

Guess what happens to these same people who have break up? They absolutely crumble.

When you place all your worth, time and attention on any ONE of those pie pieces, your whole world can end if that piece is taken away. It is important to have a life outside of your relationship. Start by asking these questions:

  • Do I have a daily spiritual practice?
  • Do I spend enough time with my friends and social circle?
  • Do I work hard enough or too hard?
  • Do I take vacations?
  • Do I work out daily or weekly?
  • Do i spend enough time with my partner, too much or too little?

When you start asking these questions, you train yourself to see where your attention is. If you noticed in one week, you never meditated, worked out, made a home cooked meal and spent all your time at work….you can see how imbalanced a life is.

Create a life where you thrive in all areas of your life so if one unfortunately has to be removed, you can mourn in appropriation. It doesn’t consume you because there are so many other pieces that are working.

In the end, we all are pursuing happiness. If we attach this happiness to a relationship, we can create sadness by its departure.

Learn how to have healthy habits for the sake of your healthy body, positive mind and thriving soul. In return, your relationships in your life will blossom as you now have more to contribute to them than take from them. How wonderful that will be for everyone!

Until  next time, stay in the love and the light

xo Uma

Untitled design (9)Uma is an intuitive consultant, consciousness coach, published author, inspirational speaker and the owner of Lotus Wellness Center in Northern VA.

To learn more about Uma’s classes and services, visit http://www.lotuswellnesscenter.net

 

I don’t do KnockOffs…

I am not a flashy person with nice, name brand things. It’s true! In fact, most of my name brand things come to me generously through my mom, dad and brothers who like the flashy things and every now and then on a birthday or Christmas occasion, like to get me one too.

When I do get the flashy things, I love it. I love it because it’s good quality stuff and the difference in the price DOES make a difference in the feel, durability, dependability and experience of the product.

When I was in college, I made do with Payless shoes and Walmart purses. I am not knocking them, hey they worked for me for a long time. But as I got older, I wanted more. I didn’t want my shoes to only last the summer or my purse to make it to a year and then shred on me. I wanted good, quality products that could last a bit longer so the turnaround on them would stretch. I am really not a shopper so I delay the process for as long as I can bear. If I am buying something, please Lord let it last my lifetime so I don’t have to go shopping.

At this point, some of you might have started to wonder if I am off my rocker. “Uma done did it now and lost her damn mind sitting her talking about shoes and purses.”

Or have I? (cue evil laugh and rubbing of hands together)

Maybe not. You know there is a purpose to this blog, so hang in there, I am getting there.

I am talking about quality versus quantity and real versus artificial because I feel the need to remind people that in life, if you take the quick route, you will eventually get what you paid for.

At my center I teach a variety of classes; some certification classes that follow the protocol of the parent company I am subscribed to and the rest Spirit Led. Spirit Led just means that Spirit woke me up (usually around 3am) and channeled a class to hold. I obediently follow through and it becomes one of the most amazing experiences myself and the students experience. It’s not made up, it is destined. 

As fun as my job is, there is the little quirks that pop up from time to time. In the beginning it was “nail on chalkboard” bearable but now, after so many years and so many times, its more like an annoying fly that buzzes too close to your pina colada on the beach. Shoo fly, don’t bother me!

One of these quirks is my observation of how many people that take a class or two in metaphysics and then become teachers in a turnaround faster than you can say, “Olly Olly Oxen Free!”

I remember working with a business coach awhile back and after assessing my center and what I do, she made the remark, “I have to give it to you-you create classes and teach and basically you are teaching your competition. Well isn’t that a doozy.” It is.

Now let’s be clear. I am not knocking anyone who has a life path and destiny to become a spiritual teacher or to own a wellness center similar to mine. In fact, there are many who created their businesses and have my stamp of approval with them because Spirit told me they would go far and do well as is their calling. I am only too happy to oblige.

But for the few, who do it for money, fame and recognition…. this is a post for you. 

Now some of you at this point might think I am being mean, shady or condescending. You have a right to your perspective but hear me out, and if you can stomach it, read through the rest of this blog before you make a firm decision that Uma is catty and immature. I am pretty sure you will have a different opinion by the end.

I am writing this blog in hopes it reaches the people who are doing these things and if it does, this is what I would like to say to them: “Stop it. You are doing more harm than good.”

Now why would I say that? Did I just pull it out from thin air? No.

Did Spirit tell me to say it to give people complexes? No.

Do I feel better or superior to others and feel the need to put people down? No.

I say it because if it is anything I can be known for in this lifetime, it is my integrity. I truly care about people. Most times people may think I don’t because I am not a warm, squishy kind of person but you know, my type of caring is not in that category. I am genuinely worried about people fulfilling their soul missions and making sure they are acting in authenticity and alignment with their purpose.

So with that being said, here are the reasons why a newbie student turned newbie teacher is not a good idea and why when you pay more or go with more, you get more:

  1. Newbie teachers break the cardinal rule.

Yes there is a cardinal rule of learning and this is how it goes: First you learn, then you DO and then you teach. Now depending on who you talk to, this can span months to years to decades. While I am a bit concerned about the timeline, I am more concerned with the concept.

My partner would laugh every time we took a class together. Immediately when we returned home, I would call up close friends or clients and offer them a session of what I just learned for free or at a discounted rate. My goal would be to get a set number of students in and practice the session. Usually by the end of the week, I have the protocol memorized and can do it easily without my manuals or handouts. This is the doing part of the protocol. Then after months or years of doing, I would feel confident to teach because I have seen all aspects (or alot) of the process and can handle situations as they arise.

I had one student learn a class from me in one month and then two months later she was offering the class AND at the cost I charged for the class. I was floored but I waited to see what Spirit would do. I knew this woman was not competent enough to teach this class, it was quite technical and had set procedures to follow. How could she possibly pull it off without even practicing it outside of the one session she did in class? I was worried and anxious thinking of her students who signed up and I prayed for them, that they would get alot out of the class and somehow it would all magically pull together to be a successful event. Well I didn’t even have to do that. Spirit ensured that class did not happen and as the days led up to it, one by one her students started dropping out. I was part relieved and also part sorry for her. I knew she needed that class for financial purposes but also my integrity said this was not right. Spirit agreed.

When you learn something, you need time to understand that thing. You need to sit with it, breathe it in, experiment with it and heck even fail at it. You have to mess up, try again and work it, work it, work it until you find your flow. Once you arrive at that point (however long it takes), you will know it’s time to teach it.

Usually I create classes because students ask me to create them. The way my process works is I get a message from Spirit to teach a class. I say, “That’s fine” but I need validation that this is meant to be and soon after that, the right people come my way to either collaborate or to be taught. That simple.

I became a past life regression therapist this way. I was working on a client, doing a regular reflexology session and as I was talking to my client, my voice naturally went into a hypnotic flow and my client went into a light trance. She started to recall a past life concerning an issue she was facing in her present day circumstances. There was alot of healing and tears that came from this process and I found it fascinating. I didn’t think about it anymore until months later when I was sailing on the river Seine in France and realized I was reading the book, “Many Lives many Masters” by the amazing Dr. Brian Weiss. I was being drawn to the path of past life regression and didn’t realize it. When I went home, I booked a class and got in to Dr. Weiss training program to become a past life therapist. It is still one of my favorite modalities to facilitate to this day.

I have never put up a class because someone else was offering it or to compete because the energy is wrong from the get go. And I have learned over the years of doing this, that if the energy and Spirit is not there, it is more work than necessary and shouldn’t be done. I have in fact CANCELED classes that had people in it! Why? Because the energy felt off and in acting in my integrity, I didn’t feel the students would get the same powerful delivery I could have delivered if I did it another time. As you can imagine this is frustrating to some but for those who know me and respect my process, they are relieved. Relieved to have a teacher who cares more about their experience than her bank account.

All this talk about money leads me to #2.

2. Newbie teachers are often in the grip of Ego not Spirit

I understand. There is no judgment here but a quiet request to really check in before you decide to offer this class you just learned. Are you sure you can pull it off? Will you do it justice? Will the student have a better experience with another teacher who has been doing it a lot longer than you? Do you have enough integrity to admit that?

When I teach Tuning Fork Therapy®, I RAVE about my teacher and the founder of the modality, Francine Milford. I WISH all my students could take it firsthand from her, the way I did. Francine is partly retired but comes out of retirement to teach from time to time (well at least for me!). I LOVE classes with her partly because its at her house in sunny FL and she makes me lunch too. 🙂 Mostly I love classes with Francine because she is so knowledgeable about everything and I always leave learning more than what I paid for.

I am proud to say that every teacher of Tuning Fork Therapy® in Northern Virginia came through me as I was the only person in this area taught personally by Francine Milford. I uphold this class to the highest respect because of that responsibility and also because students in my area cannot get a personal training from Francine unless they go to Florida to learn from her. So it is my responsibility I feel to give them as close an experience as I can to what she offers. It is nowhere near it of course! But still I try.

Francine sees my integrity in what I do and recently she gifted me 13 boxes sent by mail of over 225+ attunements and classes. Most of her life’s work, I now possess and my responsibility is to teach it to continue Francine’s legacy. As you can expect, I will take my time reviewing the classes and knowledge before offering it to students, because I want to make sure I teach it the way Francine would want me to teach it and to do the courses justice. It has to be right.

When I see Newbie teachers hustling to put up a class they just learned (and may not have been a good student at), I know they want the ROI quickly. I get it. When we spend money, we need to earn money but I believe there should be a pause button here somewhere and then a golden question to follow. A question like, “How does this work out for the student?”

DO you really feel you can deliver a wonderful experience and turn that student ON to the love of learning they are about to receive? Or will this be another failed class with let downs and disappointments?

Each class I offer, I prep for weeks and sometimes months before I actually step into a classroom. There is the outlining, storyboarding, mission planning, checks and balances, dry run through, emotional run through and spiritual run through before I even advertise the darned thing! And once it is advertised, there are more checks and balances, fielding Q&As and inventory before we get to class. Once in class, I hardly eat (or breathe) as I am so focused, tuned in, taped in and turned on to Spirit to deliver precisely what is needed for that group and by Spirit’s commands.

Newbie teacher are you prepared for all of that? Can you DO all of that? And lastly, are you interested in creating all of that?

One time I had a former client tell me they wanted to become a teacher. I knew this was a mistake. For one, my client was an extreme introvert so ummm….not sure how that would work.

I started to detail the work I did before, during and after class times and the amount of interpersonal communication required for EACH student and they backed down immediately!

“Oh heck no, I don’t want to talk to people that much! I don’t even like people!”

Bingo.

But you know how I saw that? Cause I am an experienced metaphysical teacher and highly intuitive person. I am trained to see what one cannot see at the present moment.

Usually when a Newbie teacher offers up a class, their drive is ROI, excitement, money, fame and/or significance. My advice is to take the time to learn what you know and trust that Spirit has your back. By rushing to put up an event you are not well trained in, you run the risk of messing up the class and not giving the student a pleasant experience.

There is no rush, no destination, only the journey. Trust the process. 

3. You get what you paid for

Sometimes I have potential clients call me for a session and when they realize my price, they would back out because “I am too expensive.” I once had a gentleman ask me, “Why would I pay you that rate for a session when I can go down the street and get it for ___(lesser amount)?”

I don’t even fight them on it. At that point, I agree with them and let them know that is a good deal and they should go there. Most times when I do that, I am met with silence on the phone. They didn’t expect me to say that and I guess they were hoping I would fight for their business. That’s not necessary.

Firstly, there are plenty of good, established healers in the area and I am sure if they go to someone else, they will get what they need. I have my clients, the people who want to see me and be seen by me. Other healers have theirs. We do not need to fight over this.

It is not my desire to work with everyone. I have no reason to. I made a call out to the Universe concerning the time of clients I want to see and so far, I have been getting my clientele. I am not hurting either. In the nearly ten years I have been working as an intuitive and healer, I have seen close to 10,000 clients. I know because I keep track of my sessions and I see roughly around 1,000 people/year.

My clientele come to me because they have been everywhere else and it is not working.

My clientele trust me to deliver the services they need and want with the highest integrity and passion I can bring.

My clientele do not fight me or question me on my services or prices because they implicitly trust that quality is more important to me than quantity as it is to them.

It is what makes me a genuine, real healer and teacher; not a knock off.

My reason for writing this blog is simple. I want you to know who I am and what I am about.

I love the work I do and it pains me to see charlatans degrade, abuse and villify my profession. Please people, let’s be more conscientious of what we are doing and how we are doing it.

The formula again: Learn. Do. Teach.

Some may say I made myself the whistle blower concerning this topic or the self appointed monitor. I am ok with those titles because we don’t have a regulating board of members or accreditation to our work. So someone has to say something and say it loud and clear. So I will.

You get what you pay for.

If you want quality, find the trusted, reliable, long standing healers/teachers in your community. It will cost you less in the long run.

My love and light with you until next time,

xo Uma

Untitled design (9)Uma Alexandra Beepat is an Intuitive Consultant, Metaphysical Teacher, Consciousness Coach and Published Author.

Uma owns Lotus Wellness Center and three other businesses in Northern Virginia.

For more information on Uma, visit http://www.umalotusflower.com

 

 

The Sin of Loving Yourself

I love myself.

I really love myself.

I love myself so much that sometimes people get offended.

They get offended because in loving myself, I fail to love them as hard as I love myself.

That is a fact.

There is a large population of people who are looking and searching for the best answer to the age old question, “How do I love myself?”

I am sorry but I am not in that group of people.

I somehow seem to be lumped in with the narcissists and vain, the “uppity” and snooty crowd because I have never doubted my brilliance, my divinity or the Goddess who resides within me.

However, because I honor that divine Spark within me and think of myself in a glorious way, I have been called the above names before. It’s a catch isn’t it?

I don’t need classes or books to tell me how to overcome my shyness or connect with my Inner Goddess. I don’t need workshops to help lift me up. I am already there. But because I am already there, and don’t need help on how to get there, I am outcasted and ridiculed. I am either the anomaly or a fraud; however I am not the real deal in self love, because well, I don’t look like what self-love is meant to look like. I am TOO confident, TOO good with my boundaries and TOO self involved. 

In this blog, I am addressing a small, overlooked issue that remains (to this day) overlooked because it seems insensitive to talk about it when clearly there are other people (the majority) on the opposite end of the spectrum who do not face this issue.

What is the issue?

The issue is that we have created a world to be in constant need of something and to deny the existence of those who have no need of anything. Specifically in the issue of unconditional love. 

See, I love myself unconditionally. What does that mean to me?

It means that no matter what I do or say or think, I still love me. I love me in spite of my faults, my glories, my weaknesses and my strengths.

I understand me and I know me. I know that despite what is exhibited on the outside, or what people’s perceptions are of me, they don’t know me like i know me. That’s why someone else cannot tell me MY truth or what I meant by what I did. That is their perception and they are entitled to it.

I love myself so hard that even when people tell me their perceptions of me and say it like it is fact not opinion, I don’t correct them, get defensive, attack or withdraw. I have enough love within me, that I can listen to what they say and still hold space for them and their opinions of me without feeling the need to respond.

When someone loves themselves unconditionally, they are afforded a freedom to live in the moments they create without guilt or regret over past mistakes or anxiety and restlessness about the future. They are able to navigate through life easily because they are peace with it all. Loving yourself affords you a freedom to be happy; despite what other people feel or think about you. It’s worth the isolation if anything!

So in realizing my super power (loving myself and accepting myself regardless of what the world thinks of me), I decided to share some tips if I may with you. Whether you are already in self love with yourself or asking that question, “How do I love myself?”, from my humble opinion here are some ideas to start with:

  1. Recognize that you are complete and whole already

In my opinion, the first step to self-love is realizing that there is nothing to fix or wrong with you. You are already there. Think of buying a fixer-upper first home. What are the feelings there? Excitement to own a home? Check. Excitement to renovate and recreate the original model to what you want? Check. Excitement of all the possibilities that will come by this purchase? Check.

The idea is that you are that original canvas sent from the master architect himself. You get to create the mural you want on it! However if you start off by denying the existence of the original architect, or doubting his work, or picking at perceived flaws with the canvas….then you are off to a rough start!

A better idea is to accept what is your canvas, what the master Architect has sent to you and create your mural as you wish. No doubting, wishing for something different or being critical. Instead be in a place of acceptance and love for what IS there as opposed to what isn’t. Get my drift? Self-love is about acceptance that you are quite perfect and stunning as you are, with no need to change, mimic or be someone else.

2. Choose your cheerleading squad carefully

As I have said before, I don’t give much thought to what people think about me. I am living this life for myself and by my terms. That being said, I tend not to associate with too many people. My acquaintances circle is large and my inner circle is a few I can count on one hand. I like it that way.

I once heard that Oprah is particular about what she hears, to the point when a car service picks her up, they are instructed not to engage in chit chat and not to play music. She doesn’t want to listen to the wrong stuff.

What is the wrong stuff? Gossip, slander, cursing, derogatory remarks. All these sounds can mess with your vibe, your vision, your flow. The same thing with having friends who cannot support you or stay in low vibe behavior.

“Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events and small minds discuss people.”- Eleanor Roosevelt. 

I once had a friend tell me I changed friends as often as people changed underwear. Ok, she exaggerates but there is a kernel of truth in there. My truth is I can be the BEST of friends with people, but once it goes south for me, I am out!

Now some of you might think, “Oh Uma but that is such a lonely road!” Nope, nope, nope it is not. See I have friends since elementary school days that are healthy, positive, successful and thriving. They keep me entertained.

I have parents, siblings and a whole host of cousins and relatives that flood my life with positivity, happiness and joy. They keep me laughing.

I have an amazing partner who teaches me, learns from me and grows with me. He keeps me in love.

And finally, I have my kids who mentor me in the new ways of the new world from their perspective. They keep me inspired.

You can mourn the few you lost along the way or you can celebrate the hundreds who are still there, still positive and still rooting for you. Choose wisely!

3. Understand it is all just an opinion

One defining moment in my life is when I stood up to a bully a couple of years ago (yes I was an adult and bullied!). She was supposedly a friend in my life but her behavior and actions were anything but. She was always critical of me and my life and one day, I had enough and looked her square in the eye and said, “That sounds wonderful, but you know what? It is your opinion I should do it that way and I don’t want to do it that way because my opinion is to do it differently. Your Opinion is Valid BUT YOUR OPINION DOES NOT DEFINE MY REALITY.”

I think she was shook up by the yelling part but it was part frustration and part epiphany when I said it. It’s true! She had an opinion. It wasn’t God’s truth and she didn’t get divine wisdom from the heavens into my affairs. It was just her thought process based off of the way she does things and thinks about things. Its ok, but it’s not gold.

As you learn to see everyone as opinionated people, it helps you tremendously to ease off them and not take it too seriously what they say.

Even if their way saves you $2.34 or 4  minutes, who CARES? Is your aim to get to your grave on time and saving money? Of course not! Your aim is to live your life YOUR WAY and you get to choose whose opinion you take into consideration and whose you toss out with the trash. Either way, don’t feel guilty about it. Just do you.

I can keep writing on this topic because it is my cornerstone of my work. Living authentically, boldly and by my rules and my decisions is important. I hope that this blog touches at least someone in a positive way. What I really want to say to you, is that you are perfect just as you are, you are loved and you matter.

Love and Light until next time,

xo Uma

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Uma Alexandra Beepat is a Consciousness Speaker, Metaphysical Teacher, Intuitive Consultant and Psychic Mediumship Mentor. Uma owns four businesses, is a single mom to two pre-teen boys and lives life large!

To find out more about Uma, visit  http://www.umalotusflower.com