Mercury Retrograde in Pisces

We are in the middle of a mercury retrograde, the first one of three this year, and I have to say, it hasn’t been quite bad! I have been enjoying it more than I usually do and my upsets seem to be related to technology only. Whew!

Definitely a treat compared to when Mercury was retrograde in Aries last year. Much different energy!

Today we will talk about what mercury retrograde in Pisces means and how to safely navigate out of one. This current retrograde period ends on March 28th and we have a little room to breathe before we are hit with three more planetary retrogrades in April.

If you have never heard of Mercury retrograde or understand the issues that tend to arise during this period, read all about it here.

Mercury Retrograde in Pisces brings about a conundrum of sorts. Mercury is at home in the signs of Gemini and Virgo. Virgoan and Gemini interest is in the details and well, that wouldn’t work in the watery sign of Pisces.

In Pisces, there is a need to take a wider, more expansive, mystical view of life. Most people do not like change, so if you tend to be rigid in thinking or controlling in thought, this can be a very challenging time for you. Expect things to shift to create chaos to get you to uncling from these hard and fast beliefs. Going with the flow is so necessary now and being able to change at a moment’s notice will make it easier.

I myself have had to reroute regularly, sometimes even hourly! But this is the beauty of learning about life outside of our viewpoint. In learning about retrogrades and especially this one in Pisces, it has helped me keep an open mind and see change as fantastic and not something to be feared.

Indeed I am an Earth sign and have a couple of signs in my chart that are mutable (non fixed) so going with the flow is easy for me. There are some signs that are definitely impacted more than most this season and they are:

Signs Mostly Affected this Pisces Season:

  1. Water Signs-Pisces, Cancer and Scorpio

As a water sign, you already know how to swim effortlessly through change so keep at it! Allow yourself to expand, redirect, change directions and take risks. Others may not support you or even doubt you but don’t let them! You are in swimming season, so keep your positivity up and watch some amazing things happen this retrograde season!

  1. Fire Signs- Aries, Leo and Sagittarius

Cool down fire sign! You may be struggling this season because there is an innate tendency in fire signs to want to WIN no matter what the cost. In this retrograde season you can expect to see your important relationships challenged. It can be home, personal, business or in the community. Before you make sudden and drastic decisions (impulsive much?), take a breath, CALM DOWN and wait this season out. If you don’t take this time out, you can create much damage that may not be repaired.

Tips to Flow during this Season:

No matter what sign you are, for the remainder of the retrograde season, do these three things or place some importance on them:

  1. Allow yourself to daydream

You are having a hard time with a project at work. Instead of contemplating the solution with what you have available (may not be much), imagine a different outcome if you lived in a “perfect world” and you had every resource available to you.

This kind of daydreaming is what Pisces energy is built on! Allow your mindset to drift and imagine bigger and better things than you currently have. You may be surprised to see some of your outlandish dreams coming true or heading in that direction!

2. Self Care focus and take breaks

Many of us have noticed with the advent of this retrograde period, we just couldn’t seem to get out of bed. Ohhhhh the energy drain! As much as we are SUPPOSED to take care of ourselves all of the time, it is especially crucial during a retrograde season.

I am pretty good about taking my daily multivitamins and probiotics but come retrograde time, I am fanatical about taking them every day! I also tend to go to bed earlier, have more nap times during the day and be willing to be break commitments to honor my energy.

Work at the pace that you can comfortably. A retrograde doesn’t last forever! With the incoming new moon in April, you can expect to get that drive back and have interest in all the things prompt and fast moving!

3. Hold space for others and/or limit social time 

Many people do not follow astrology or pay attention to these deeply impactful planetary movements. Forgive them anyway. ūüôā

The beauty of knowledge is that it becomes wisdom when shared or experienced. This information you learn, is not meant to be storehoused in a corner of your brain until you die! No, no, no! You learn, you grow and you expand…..this in turn helps you to help other people.

Maybe no one wants to listen to you go on and on about planets. Cool. When THEY start getting irritated or frustrated, don’t judge them or make fun of them, take a higher approach and hold space for them.

Also, it is ok and perfectly normal to pull away from people in general when you are in a retrograde period. It is a time of deep introspection so if you feel to curl up in your home and spend some time by yourself, have at it! Build your energy for the times you do feel social.

Tips to leaving a Retrograde Period: 

As we come to the end of mercury retrograde in Pisces on March 28th, here are some realistic expectations you can do to make it comfortable:

  • Be aware. Whatever you started in a retrograde period CAN end as life returns to normal. This is why it is suggested not to start a relationship in a retrograde peiod. If you did start something, then allow yourself to be flexible and ready for adjustments. It may not end, it can change in some other aspect. Whatever happens, be open and accepting of what comes your way.

 

  • I don’t know why but it seems like the end of the retrograde period tends to be the toughest! I can sail through a season easily until its last two days and then all hell breaks loose! Because of this happening frequently, I have learned to slow down and create space in between my TO DO list of things. When a planet ends its retrograde, the energy can be supercharged, so we can all be a little frazzled and exhausted anyway, and need the extra time to rest so we‚Äôre not completely burned out. Once the retrograde is over, work on replenishing your energy. Rest.

 

  • Pay attention to what areas are ruled by the house the planet retrogrades in (in this case Pisces) as they tend to get the brunt of the problems during the retrograde. Start to make plans for how you can right whatever went wrong, and get everything back to normal (or better than normal) soon after the retrograde ends.

 

So as we journey through this water sign, take your time, relax and breathe. You got this, sometimes you may forget but I am here to remind you, all the power lies within you! Now that you are armed with this knowledge, go forth and blossom!

xo Uma

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Uma Alexandra Beepat is an intuitive consultant, spiritual teacher and owner of Lotus Wellness Center in Northern VA.

To learn more about Uma, visit http://www.umalotusflower.com

 

What does it mean to be Spiritual?

I had a friend who was a bit of a cynic (well he still is) and he said one time to me, “You gotta love the Spiritual people. It’s pretty much a bunch of lame-Os who are too lazy for religion and too scared to be atheist.”

After I had a good belly laugh about it for oh say two hours, I had to stop and think about it….I mean it had some truth to it, didn’t it?

I spent the next few days testing out his theory by asking innocent bystanders (ok my clients and students at Lotus), if they were religious or spiritual and what did that mean to them.

I received interesting feedback with the majority of answers corroborating his theory. Most people don’t know or have an explainable idea of what it means.

The most popular answer I got was, “Well I am definitely not religious, I would say I am more Spiritual because I believe in a God or the Universe.”

Me: “Ok do you have a set practice as a Spiritual person?”

Them: “No not really, it’s what I feel like really. Some days I meditate, some days I go to the yoga class at my gym and some days I eat cheetos on the couch. It’s all about balance!”

Me: “Uh huh got it. But is there something specific you do that can identify you with other Spiritual people?”

Them: “Well I do wear mala beads and most Spiritual people wear mala beads. It’s a sign of our Spirituality.”

Me: “Do you know how to use a mala bead?”

Them: “There’s a use for them?!”

woman working girl sitting
Photo by Alexander Dummer on Pexels.com

Trust me when I say she is a sweetheart. A bumbling sweetheart but sweet nevertheless.

I had a bit of shell shock and identity crisis as I realized I was probably seen this way as well! I mean I own a Wellness Center and Massage School and wear mala beads! OMG am I a Spiritually Unevolved person? Is that how the world sees me?

Cue *dramatic fall to the floor with hand covering my eyes*

Back then I took a whole lotta offense to what my friend said, to the answers I got back and to somehow me being lumped in this category. I decided then and there that I needed to have a firm answer on what being Spiritual meant for me and to me so if anyone asked, I would be better prepared to answer.

I came up with 3 reasons why I am Spiritual and I am sharing it here in case it resonates with you. Feel free to use them! I have no rights over these ideas, and hey maybe if we were all well-equipped with answers, the rest of the world will take us seriously, have a green tea and calm the f**k down. Here we go:

  1. I believe in All the Religions

In my younger years (ages 9-28) I studied most of the major religions. I read the Bible front to back (twice), Koran, Bhagavad Gita, Yoga Sutras and the Tao. What I found was similarities amongst them all. More similarities than differences. Later on in my 30s, I found Wiccan and Paganism and noticed similarity in dates to Christian important holidays (Christmas and Easter) and similar symbolism.

As I matured, I realized I didn’t feel comfortable owning a title. You could call me Christian because I liked to go to Church (still do occasionally). You could call me Hindu because I practice yoga and meditation daily. You could call me Muslim because I enjoy fasting during the Ramadan season. You could call me Pagan because I have a deep love of earth rituals and Mother Nature.¬†If I identified with one religion, I would neglect the other spiritual practices I employed.

2. I am more concerned with my Purpose than my Needs

Now this is in no way a jab to anyone, it is a revelation unto myself. I grew up in a typical family with two siblings and parents who were striving for better things. We all do. My family like everyone else wanted a better future. My family unlike some families came from humble beginnings in a third world country.

Somewhere along the way, i got sidetracked, bamboozled, led astray by the sirene call of the Spiritual realm to seek my path and purpose in life specific to me. I didn’t want to exist on the earthly realm anymore for pain and pleasure, I wanted significance in finding a way to make a living that contributed to the wellbeing of others. I opened a Wellness Center and then later a Massage School before personally venturing out to speak, teach and write on what I know. The call of the Divine to help, uplift and inspire others was a deeper call than the need for public fame, fortune and membership in the right clubs and societal groups.

When I refer to myself as Spiritual, I refer to this need, this desire to find out my purpose in life and live it accordingly. Again I will stress the importance of recognizing that it is a focus on what I do want and not what I am moving away from. Many of my loved ones still pursue a materialistic life and you know what? I love them immensely and have no judgment. Being Spiritual for me in this aspect is about learning to understand me and why I am here, not about judging someone else’s path or story.

3) The CIA is everywhere

Living the Spiritual life means coming from a place of CIA all the time everytime. What is the CIA?

C-Compassion

I-Intent

A-Awareness

It is so easy to get caught up in the drama and trauma of life, to take things personally, to get easily offended, to make judgments and to develop this us vs. them mentality. I didn’t want that anymore. I did it for a large part of my life, and it brought nothing but dissatisfaction, hurt and envy to my life. My anger raged and this fire consumed me all the time. I wanted out and I got it when I started living with a CIA perspective.

Compassion teaches me to see things from someone else’s perspective, to continue to love them where they are and to hold space instead of react when things aren’t going right.

Intent teaches me to have intention before I DO ANYTHING! Whether I am about to eat food, cross the sidewalk, take a drive or speak to a class, I remind myself of my reasons for doing so and maintain intent in the transactions.

Awareness teaches me to continuously watch, observe, monitor and eventually self-correct on my behaviors if they are out of alignment with my path and purpose, if they are hurtful to others or if they could be done better. This last one is a doozy. I have time and time again reached out to people I have wronged and apologized. Sometimes it is accepted and sometimes I am the receiver of a verbal lashing out. It is hard work to admit you are wrong and even harder to be penalized for it, but yet my awareness will not let me off the hook. Into the darkness I  must go to apologize, yes for them but mostly for me. I need to be better, do better and live better everyday within my conscience.

There is one more big reason why I call myself Spiritual instead of a follower of a particular religion or an atheist. In realizing it, I guess in the end, I have alot in common with the bumbling sweetheart from earlier who couldn’t put it in words what she knew in her heart to be true. In the end, I am like her Spiritual because I¬†Believe.¬†

I believe in a Higher Power, God Consciousness or The Universe.

I believe we are Souls having a Human Experience. 

I believe in the sanctity of Life, the harmony of man and the peace of a utopian society. 

Hmm, sounds like the decree of a new religion, possibly Umaism?

Nah. I think all of the religions currently existing got this Belief thing covered.

I rather say I am Spiritual, live a decent life, don’t worry what others are doing and focus on how I can be of contribution to society.

Wear your Spiritual badge proud and loud. Let’s all share our love of all things Spiritual with pride

uab-web-5Uma is the owner of Lotus Wellness Center and Lotus Signature Massage School in VA. To learn more about this crazy Spiritual chic, check out http://www.umalotusflower.com

Codependent or Healthy in Love?

codependent relationship

Relationships are a funny thing. We hear often that famous saying, “Can’t live with them, can’t live without them.” Isn’t that the truth?

Most times we say it in love and with laughter, but for some, this phrase is an actual statement into a deeper issue, one that supercedes fun, light and love. It’s about codependency.

What IS codependency? According to Wikipedia, codependency is the term used to describe¬†a dysfunctional relationship where one person supports or enables another person’s addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility, or under-achievement.

Among the core characteristics of codependency, the most common theme is an excessive reliance on other people for approval and a sense of identity. Like whoa.

Aren’t we supposed to have our OWN identity in relationships?

While for most of us, we believe so, for some codependent people, the belief is that they are not complete until they are in a relationship and that person they are in love with, completes them.

jerry maguire

I mean who can forget that scene in the Jerry Maguire movie when he says those same words, “You complete me.”¬†

It sounds romantic and I am sure for some, it is a desire to hear these exact words but I urge you to STOP! It is another Hollywood scenario that sounds better on screen than in real life.

Remember 50 Shades of Grey? Very exciting movie and book, but think about it in real life. Think of it especially with a partner who may not be a milionaire and owns a hundred companies and looks like Christian Grey. Hey realistically most of us can’t or won’t attract that kind of guy into our lives in this lifetime (being real not pessimistic). Would it be as romantic if your guy lived on his friends’ couches and didn’t hold down a job? I thought so.

In life, we have to learn to discern what sounds more like a great fantasy or what can actually work in our life. Most times, romantic fantasies need to stay just there, in fantasy.

Here are three signs of a codependent relationship. If you notice some or all of these, hang tight. I got you. I will also talk about connections in love xo.

Signs of a Codependent Relationship:

1. Your Sense of Purpose is delayed as you tend to your partner’s needs¬†

When I was  younger, I was very  much caught up in a codependent relationship with a boyfriend. I was a rising star at my college and given many blessings to advance forward in my path, but truthfully, I cared more about how he felt than my future. I remember there was a leadership conference and each college in the NorthEast United States were allowed to send two representatives from their school. Of course I was selected to represent my school and guess what I did? I threw it away to spend the week with my boyfriend.

When you are in a codependent relationship, the other person seems more important than you. Their needs, their desires, their wants are catered to and yours barely are acknowledged.

To break out of this mold, (and yes you can) the power scales need to be balanced. Start by taking inventory of a month. Are you only doing activities your partner wants to do or are your needs met? If you notice a tipping of the scales in their direction, have a talk with them and let them know that this is an issue for you and you would like it to be more balanced in your relationship. Either they will agree with you or not, and then you get to decide how that goes. But for now, start with inventory. Take an honest look at your relationship and decide how it feels.

 In its broadest definition, a codependent is someone who cannot function from his or her innate self and whose thinking and behavior is instead organized around another person, or even a process, or substance.

2. You believe the other person is responsible for your happiness 

In the first sign mentioned above, it is expected that the scales are as balanced as they can be to make it an equal relationship. This balancing does NOT equal out to your partner catering to you to make you happy.

One time I was arguing with a boyfriend when I was 14. I remember this clearly because of what I said and his response.

Me: ” I am so unhappy! It is your responsibility to make me happy in this relationship!”

Him: “Well then we are screwed because it is not my job to make you happy, that is your job. My job is to focus on my happiness and together we create a happy relationship.”

Lord that boy was smart. Smart and right.

No one can make you happy. YOU know this! But yet, once we get in relationships, it seems like all logic goes out the window and for some of us, we turn into whiny little babies who need constant attention.

We start placing blame when things go wrong and never think to look at ourselves. Why is this?

Sometimes we place the heavy obligation of happiness on another’s shoulder because we don’t want to face the truth that the relationship is not meeting our needs. We may know that it is time to move on but fear of being alone or dying single, keeps us in place. Then when we stay, we become unhappy and place that blame on our partners’ shoulders.

Be the bigger person. If you are not happy in your relationship, leave. If you are not happy with yourself, get help. Whatever it is, do anything but blame your partner. Because you know what? If your partner truly is the source of your unhappiness, then go back to step 1 and leave. It really is that simple.

I believe some people feel if they complain about it, it will somehow magically change to what they want. This is not how the Law of Attraction works. In fact, the more you complain about a source of displeasure, the more of it you will attract. I have tried repeatedly to share this information with several people in my life and guess what happens? Absolutely nothing. They keep complaining, and they keep staying in the rut they are in. In life, you have to know when to help and when to walk away and for these individuals, I tend to walk away.

If you can’t create a happy life using the resources you were given or have attained in life, then no one else will do it for you. This is your burden to bear. Figure it out.¬†

3) You need to be around that person all the time 

When you are with them, you feel ALIVE and full of love and happiness. When you are away from them, you call/text/snapchat often. When you can’t reach them, you are dying on the inside. If you do have peace and quiet in your alone time, it is because you know they are at work or the dentist and can’t access their phone. You feel happy and content.

Sounds familiar?

Being alone is necessary. It is in our times of silence and solitude that we uncover the parts of ourselves that need the work or can do with some improvements. When you are around someone all the time, (and yes it can be the same person or different people), you are engaged in interactions. There is no time to reflect, meditate and do some self-analysis.

I think some people use people for constant companionship because they don’t want to have introspection! They know on a deeper level, there are some issues to sort out but don’t have the drive, interest or courage to do so.

I have met some highly functional and successful broken people and have been impressed! They have shrouded themselves in such a strong invisibility cloak, it would make Harry Potter jealous!

Try to factor in some alone time away from your partner. How does it feel?

If it brings up anxiety, stress or fears, then you are onto something. You may have hidden out in a codependent relationship for awhile but cleverly crafted it as, “We are a team” or “We do things together”.

No you are not. You were born into this world alone and you will go out alone. This precious partner of yours will not sacrifice their life to go with you at the end of your timeline. And more than likely, they will eventually move on and be with someone else until their end of time. This is natural because at the core of it, we each need to survive and thrive.

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Now that we have some signs of codependency, let’s look at some signs of a healthy relationship. For some of you, there is a possibility to change a codependent relationship to a healthy one so why not try now? Just because you have identified being in a codependent relationship, doesn’t mean you have to be stuck in it. Here are three signs of a healthy relationship:

1) You Respect each other’s Boundaries¬†

My partner loves riding his Harley and loves his dog. He will not tolerate anyone in his life that does not respect his need to ride and his time with his dog. I can tell you that I am not particularly interested in riding on the back of his motorcycle and I am not a pet owner or dog lover (I know shoot me). How do we make it work? We respect the boundaries.

I join him on his weekend bike rallies by either driving there with him or staying back so he can go with his friends who also love to ride. When we plan our schedules, we factor in time for him to go riding. I find something else to do. With his dog Silas, we include him in our plans and then we create events without him. We work together while respecting each other’s boundaries.¬†

When you truly listen to your partner, you are not listening to respond but rather to understand. What makes them tick? What sets them off? And what can you do in the process to respect their process while also respecting yours?

Boundaries are needed in relationships! It lets each person know the level of safety and comfort available based on needs. Once needs are respected, each partner can relax more into the relationship and develop deeper bonds.

Take a personal inventory of your own relationships now. Do you know your partner’s boundaries? Do you respect and uphold them? What can you do differently to show respect for what your partner requires?

When you respect your partner’s boundaries, you allow room for connection because they trust you. They trust that you will not hurt them, not by your words but by your actions. This means everything to a person. I know it does for me.

If you don’t know what your boundaries or your partner’s boundaries are, no problem! Start making a list! I like to make a page with three columns and write down all the things I want in a relationship, what I can compromise on and what I cannot or will¬† not tolerate. For example, I want a kind person in relationship, I can compromise on if they are a pet owner and I will not tolerate smokers. Once you make your list, ask your partner to do the same and it doesn’t matter if you have been together for 2 months or 20 years, start now in communicating! Boundaries can change over time as we age, so don’t be surprised if your partner says things that seem new to you. This is the process of connecting and if you stay with it, you will reach deeper levels of your relationship!

2) You have no problem saying NO to your partner

One time I was really into studying the ancient arts of tantric practice and I dragged my partner along with me. We were both in a room with our tantric teacher, me in a sarong and him in a sarong that barely covered his body. He looked delicious but uncomfortable! He went through the private session with me and loved it but he put his foot down and refused to go to a group class with nakedness where we talked about intimacy! He drew his line!

And you know what I did? I respected it. I didn’t push, beg, manipulate or anything of the sort. I agreed and found ways to continue my tantra study through books and online courses and then used the practices with him in the sanctity of our home.

In a relationship, you can say no. You don’t have to cosign to everything. Sometimes I see women doing the craziest things to please a man! Things they would never do but did it to keep his attention. Guess what happens? Invariably a breakup happens and those same women go bat s**t crazy! You know why right? Because they sacrificed their time, money and effort to be with him and they can’t for the life of themselves, figure out why he wouldn’t want to stay.

Say yes to the things that make you happy and interested to do. When my partner asks me to go visit his daughter in Myrtle Beach, hell yes please! When he asks me to go to a football game in the dead of winter, not so much.

You have to have a firm basis of stability in your relationship to be able to say no though. If you are insecure and unsure about yourself and the relationship, chances are you are going to keep saying yes to things even though you rather not. What happens is you will start to break down energetically and exhaustion sets in. You overextend yourself and you will feel it in the long run. Concerning your partner, you may shift blame to them for your tiredness or crankiness even though you were the one that said yes!

Save yourselves and your relationship this nightmare by just honoring where you are, what you need and what you can and cannot do. Trust me, they will love you for it and sometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder.

3) You have a life outside of your relationship

When I do relationship coaching, I invariable start out with my clients drawing a pie chart and having them fill in each pie piece with what is needed for a well rounded life. Some write health, love, social, money, career, spirituality etc…. And then I have them color in the pie pieces on a scale from 1-10 with 1 meaning little to no effort and 10 as maxium effort.

For my codependent clients, most times the love piece is fully colored in and for the other parts there is a lot of blank paper!

Guess what happens to these same people who have break up? They absolutely crumble.

When you place all your worth, time and attention on any ONE of those pie pieces, your whole world can end if that piece is taken away. It is important to have a life outside of your relationship. Start by asking these questions:

  • Do I have a daily spiritual practice?
  • Do I spend enough time with my friends and social circle?
  • Do I work hard enough or too hard?
  • Do I take vacations?
  • Do I work out daily or weekly?
  • Do i spend enough time with my partner, too much or too little?

When you start asking these questions, you train yourself to see where your attention is. If you noticed in one week, you never meditated, worked out, made a home cooked meal and spent all your time at work….you can see how imbalanced a life is.

Create a life where you thrive in all areas of your life so if one unfortunately has to be removed, you can mourn in appropriation. It doesn’t consume you because there are so many other pieces that are working.

In the end, we all are pursuing happiness. If we attach this happiness to a relationship, we can create sadness by its departure.

Learn how to have healthy habits for the sake of your healthy body, positive mind and thriving soul. In return, your relationships in your life will blossom as you now have more to contribute to them than take from them. How wonderful that will be for everyone!

Until  next time, stay in the love and the light

xo Uma

Untitled design (9)Uma is an intuitive consultant, consciousness coach, published author, inspirational speaker and the owner of Lotus Wellness Center in Northern VA.

To learn more about Uma’s classes and services, visit http://www.lotuswellnesscenter.net

 

The Birth of Awareness

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Ever since I was a little girl I was chastised for the wrongness of me. At first I was confused. What do you mean I laugh too loud? What does it mean that I am too curvy for a 10 year old? Why do you want to tame my long, unruly hair and put me in dresses when I rather climb a tree and play football with my brother and his friends?

Eventually the confusion gave way to anger. I became angry and stayed angry for a very long time. Anytime I felt the judging comments or looks coming my way, I would block it off at the start with my own growl or piercing stare. I learned from an early age how to shut down opposition fast.

There is a right and a wrong, good and bad to this though. While I learned how to love myself unconditionally, I also avoided constructive criticism that came my way from well meaning friends, boyfriends and family members. I couldn’t take it as constructive, I was too burnt from the years of oppressive comments that burned me to my core. I was angry and if you were not in agreement with me, you were against me. And all of Uma, couldn’t have that.

¬†Fast forward to last year which I lovingly refer to as my “Dark Year of the Soul” and those unhealthy behaviors came full force. My anger cost me my relationship, friendships and created stress and strife in my life. I was not feeling the Zen I was promised from being on the Spiritual path.

I knew I desired change but I didn’t know how to go about getting it.¬†Abraham Hicks says all of your reality is your manifestation and everyone and everything in it is there to serve you, as it is about you, and for you because it is created by you. I like to use the terminology of a sandbox. When we are born, we are born into our own sandboxes. As we go through life, we invite people into our sandbox to play with us. Some stay awhile, some come and go and come back again and some come in quickly and never return again. Sometimes we leave our sandbox to go meddle in other people’s sandboxes, and that is ok. It’s all a circle of life. A circle of sandboxes.

I believe what happened last year followed this concept and the Law of Attraction. Me, the UMA that was born on this Earth Planet many years ago knew she was wanted to uplevel and be there before she turned 40. The UMA wanted to work on those few bothersome things that were still affecting her on a personal and emotional level, and take it a higher level. So the UMA invited in the contrast.

Abraham Hicks talks about the need of human beings to invite in contrast for them to transform. Contrast is all the yucky things- drama, strife, struggle, pain and suffering. At this moment in time, we cannot ascend or transform without the contrast, so according to their teachings, it is a beautiful thing when the contrast comes because it signifies growth.

There was a lot of strife and struggle last year with business as I created another two businesses in addition to the two I already owned. My health and weight was not in the best place and these things were affecting me and therefore leaking into my relationship with my soulmate. Eventually it led to our downfall and for his own safety (and sanity) he had to lovingly walk away from our relationship. That was the last straw and I broke.

In true Uma style, I didn’t break halfway or a little bit or one piece at a time, I broke completely. It was a breaking of my self. It was the beginning of my death.

I remember reading Eckhart Tolle’s work awhile back, “The Power of Now” where he talked about being suicidal because he was tired of being him. He reached the point where he thought about suicide and was seriously contemplating it and it was that one night, he experienced as he called it, the death of the Ego.

As Eckhart was muling over the thoughts in his head, “I can’t stand myself”, he realized there were two voices. The “I” and the “myself”. So which one was he? He was identifying himself all the time in his thoughts and he wanted to know, who was this person speaking? From that first question, he gained an incredible amount of clarity and awareness and it changed his life to take him to the level of success he is at now.

Some call this other voice a monitor, some call it the Voice of Reason, some say Higher Self or our Inner Being. It doesn’t matter, the understanding is the same in that we are always accessible to a higher version of ourselves, and that higher version usually comes out in times of strife.

Last summer, I had a breakdown myself like Eckhart and contemplated dark thoughts. It was a dark moment where I wasn’t sure which way to proceed. It felt like all of life was failing me. My businesses were becoming increasingly difficult to handle, I felt betrayed by the¬†disappearance¬†of my soulmate,¬†my kids were gone for the whole summer and I was all alone in my house with my thoughts. Yup, I was ready to check out feeling sorry for myself.

I remember one painful night very well. I drank a lot because I was trying to numb the pain of feeling alone, overwhelmed, fearful, scared, depressed and like a failure. I was in and out of consciousness and I faintly remember crying and talking to a friend about how this was all too much and I was overwhelmed. I went to bed feeling defeated and begging the Universe for another way.

I can’t remember exactly how the turn around came and I wish I did so I could share it truthfully here. What I do know, is that blessedly it came. I just woke up (literally) the next¬†morning and I felt….lighter. Something was lifted and something was no longer there but I didn’t know what. It didn’t matter though, I felt so good, I got up and did my morning spiritual practice, something I haven’t done in a long time. And then I¬†decided I wanted to live. Not just live day to day but truly live. I wanted to experience this life and expand my experiences as much as possible outside my previous circle of pain. I felt I could do it and I wasted no time getting to work.

I planned a girls trip to Mexico. I wanted to do one of my first loves, which is traveling. I also have a hobby of visiting ancient wonders of the world so Chichen Itza was on my list. In going to Mexico, the visit to the famous ruins wasn’t my high point. The high point of that trip was jumping into a cenote (an underground sinkhole) and swimming in the cool waters.

There were two ways to get into the cenote, either jump into the dark lagoon trusting there is no mythical water dragon there to eat you up or you can take the ladder down. I remember standing there with Julie and we were both contemplating it. It felt important somehow, me taking this jump, like it was representing something more than what it was.

As I stood there, I realized, “Uma this is what you do. You weigh the pros and cons of everything as life is passing you by. No more!¬†trust your intuition and the vibration of the moment and go for it if it feels right.” I stopped thinking and jumped into the cool dark waters. As I sank lower and lower and lower, I let go. It was only a couple of seconds but it felt like a lifetime going down in that water. I kept falling and it felt good. It felt free.

As I rose to the surface of the water, I felt all the heaviness of my problems stay behind in that cenote and I came up lighter, happier and free. I laughed out loud uncontrollably and was crying but no one could tell because I was swimming in a cenote, where there were tons of people, lots of whooping and yelling and my uncontrollable laughter and tears were part of the mayhem. I felt like me again.

Not me prior to my relationship or my business, big things that were part of my identity for such a long time. I remember specifically feeling like I was when I was 12 years old. I felt sassy and happy and content with who I was. I felt fearless and adventurous and always up for a good time. I felt joy.

When we returned from Mexico, I jumped into life. I took a spontaneous trip to Florida to see my babies and hang out with my brother, talking about life on a beach in Fort Lauderdale and just being in the moment. I went to a concert with friends high on life and heard my favorite all time song live. And met some interesting people that taught me some interesting things. I took another spontaneous trip to Florida to be in an advanced mediumship workshop with John Holland and met an incredible group of people and fell in love with the most beautiful Gypsy man I ever met. We became friends but knew we lived this life together before.

In living for myself and with myself, I became increasingly aware of what this life was like and what it was about for all of us. I developed compassion for myself and all beings. I stopped looking through the lens of hate, anger, fear, blame, shame, regret, doubt and all the other distractor implants we have to distract us from just loving and being love. I became love.

Now this love I was experiencing and being, was my version of expression of love. So sometimes I can say this and some people go “huh?” Uma is NOT what I would think of as love and light, and you know what? You are damn right. I am not.

¬†My expression of love is trust and allowance. My definition of trust is in alignment with the Access Consciousness founder Gary Douglas’s definition which states, “Trust is not about trusting in someone or in self, it is about trusting that person will act exactly how you know¬†them to act given their circumstances and their thought processes.” I became clear in my perception. I became aware.

In trusting that people were going to do certain things based on what they know to do, I relaxed and allowed. I held no judgment and I stayed in my sandbox.

People noticed a change in me over this summer. To some, they couldn’t understand me. Like literally. We would have conversations and they would look at me and say, “I can’t understand what you are saying.” And this is the second part of my love coming in. I allowed. I was doing and saying things outside of the comprehension of many and they couldn’t grasp what I was doing. For some, they were aware enough to know that something else was at play here so they accepted and allowed and some¬†turned to judgment. It was all okay.

Some went further and accused me of ridiculing them and being mean so¬†I got blocked and unfriended on FB.¬†I was accused¬†for being a “fake spiritual teacher” and I got ridiculed for being an emotional being. However none of these things triggered me. I didn’t feel dejected or rejected. The anger did not come nor did the pettiness, because I was just so keenly aware of what was happening and sometimes even on a cellular level. This is how I knew I gained enlightenment. Life was still happening all around me and to me but I did not have a charge, an emotional charge about it. I was in a state of continual perception.

The best part of this enlightenment happened in my workplace. I took this awareness into my work, and I spoke to bodies that were sick and dying and brought them back to functioning. Law of Attraction brought me terminally ill clients, more so than I have seen in years. Last year became the year I stopped being a massage therapist and the majority of my sessions were either on the phone or in person and talking. No touch, just talking BUT people were leaving healed. Lighter, free and more aware. I am grateful for this shift that has profoundly helped me and helped others.

It’s not miracle work, its awareness. When you gain awareness, you know what you need to say to everyone and everything to make it work again. And making it work again, work the way it was intended to work, that was my way of expressing love in this community.

So what was the point of this blog? The moral of the story? Step into the pain. Go into it willingly. Embrace it if you must because eventually, one painful day or night, it will lead to the death of the ego and in doing so, the birth of awareness can happen.

I am not saying I am perfect now. Hardly. I am however more aware of where I still have work to do and what I can work on and what needs to be left alone until another time. When I do make a mistake or hurt someone’s feelings unintentionally, I am quick to apologize. I am even quicker to listen and slower to defend. I am learning to accept that people will do what they need to do to comfort themselves without regard for others because truly, they have to take care of themselves.

I am also learning when to offer help and when to step back. I recently tried to help someone close to my heart but they responded with such anger and hate towards me, I stepped back immediately and stayed in a place of allowance and love for the person. This particular person and I¬†had a torrid past and they clearly were still hurting from my past actions. It is because of their hurt, I wanted to help, especially because I created the hurt in the first place but they said something that added to my awareness. “I am not ready”. I agreed and stepped back. I love this person for honoring where they are at and not judging themselves for still holding on to the anger. This is the version of super human I intend to be myself. To be ok with all the feelings and accepting of them all.

I see what people are doing, and I am seeing it clearly because I have no judgment into what they are doing. I want to help. Its part of my soul contract why I came here.

So in closing, ask yourself¬† if you are in the middle of depth and despair. And if you are, be honest and ask yourself, are you running from it? If a yes comes up, how about trying something different? How about leaning into it as¬†Pema Chodron¬†would say, or just letting go and allowing it? Maybe you will experience the great death I did and begin to feel the free-ness of being you and being aware. It is something I wish for everyone.¬†Awareness without Judgment. It’s a beautiful thing.

 Love and Light,

xo Uma

He who barks the loudest

One time while visiting my partner, I was greeted by loud barking as I pulled up in his driveway. Now I knew this wasn’t Silas! A friendly and warm Great Pyrenees who could not hurt a fly!

I was right, it wasn’t this sweet gentle giant but another dog half the size of Silas but with much more of a bark! My partner was babysitting another dog, Carter while his owner was away at the beach. This dog is nothing like Silas. He is half the size of Silas but louder and more barky. When I walked into the house Silas greeted me warmly as he usually does but Carter¬†was growling and barking in a very loud tone that was mean and menacing. I was terrified LOL.

After Carter settled down and sat quietly in the corner, I decided to go and be kind and pet him. It was a nice thought but the minute I tried to touch Carter he bared his teeth turned around and snapped at me! Thank God I have lightening quick reflexes! I recoiled my hand in horror and retreated quickly to the safety of the corner of the room.

After Carter attempted to bite me, he went to the closet and got his stuffed animal and then went under the desk and hid underneath my partner’s legs. I was completely perplexed by this seemingly aggressive yet vulnerable creature, what gives?

¬†Well I later found out that Carter was an abandoned dog and¬†because of his abandonment and hurt inflicted by the family who previously owned him,¬†he had developed¬†trust issues with humans. He wasn’t treated very kindly by the family before and there was a lot of pain and suffering still rampant in him.

¬†Ahhhh, it makes sense and I could see that now.¬†As I thought about this dog, I thought to myself….how many people are like this dog? We have heard the term before right? “Hurt people hurt people”…..its akin to a barking dog.¬†Sometimes the dog that barks the loudest…is the most hurt dog of all.

No there is another type of barking dog that demonstrates hurt and pain. The dog that is constantly barking…and that is the one I want to talk about today.

See aside from Carter’s growling and attacking anyone who comes close to him (outside of his inner circle), he is also constantly barking. And in hearing that, we can relate it back to¬†people we also know in life who are constantly talking about themselves right? Ahhh now¬†you get it.

As a teacher and mentor at Lotus Wellness Center, I frequently have one or two students who disrupt class flow with their personal stories, oversharing or wanting to discuss their own issues in class. For many students it is annoying and I frequently get a stern talking to from students after class either in person or through email.

¬†“Uma you need to be a better moderator in class. I didn’t come here to listen to someone else talk about their issues.”

“Uma I am paying for class to hear you speak!”

“Uma you need to talk to her and put her in her place. Why does she take up so much time in class talking about her stuff?”

Thankfully I managed to find a common ground between my need to let these people speak and also respect class time so we don’t run over or miss anything I actually have to teach on.

You are probably wondering at this point, but why Uma? why even allow them the chance to divert class attention? Because like Carter, the people who bark the loudest need the most attention and compassion.

See I realized a long time ago that people who take up class time discussing their life or struggles or accomplishments, just needed a place to talk….because more than likely they don’t have the support system in their own lives where they either are appreciated or honored for their gifts and achievements. In worst case scenarios, they may be in unhealthy relationships or surroundings where not only are they not recognized, but they are also criticized for every little thing they do. What a life to be in!

¬†I mean think about it, why would people want to willingly talk about themselves, share personal information or ‘brag’ about their accomplishments? What are they seeking?

Of course the first things that come to mind are fame, recognition and accolades. Yes that is true, but dig deeper. Why would someone want recognition or praise? Many reasons can come up but for me the most pressing ones are: Validation, Approval and Love.

¬†I had a friend who would constantly talk about her achievements to me and I would always respond with support and enthusiasm. Later on she confided in me that she frequently turned to me to talk about her accomplishments because she couldn’t do it with people in her inner circle as they would be negative or condescending. How tragic!

 Sometimes when people talk about their accomplishments in life, we tend to feel like they are showing off or bragging, so we develop hurt feelings or feel like they are trying to put us down. Maybe some people are truly like that (pray for them!) but for the most part, people just want to celebrate a job well done and receive validation for that.

 Can you give them the validation and approval they are seeking?

Test it out in your own life.¬†I am sure you have someone like this you know. An over talker, or over sharer that you¬†maybe¬†see in social settings, business meetings or even family gatherings. Wherever you see them, practice being¬†mindful,¬†develop compassion and if you can, hold space. Everyone needs love and attention, and if they cant get it at home, where else do they turn to? Which ever social situation where they feel accepted and safe. It is a compliment really to you…that someone feels safe enough to share what they feel or do. See the compliment behind the actions and respond by showing up and being supportive. I guarantee it will change the lens on your world view.

In closing, I want to address the people that read this blog and identify themselves as this kind of person. I know you are reading and probably thinking, “Oh my God this is me! Is this how people view me? as a nuisance and disruptive?” but I ask you not to berate yourself or feel shame or pity. Remember that we are ALL working on something or some aspect of ourselves that we are seeking to change. Today the focus is on you, but tomorrow the focus will be on someone else. There is no shame in learning, processing and growing, there is only encouragement and support.

The next time you feel the need to overshare or take up someone else’s time and feel it is inappropriate, ask yourself, “What am I seeking by sharing this story with the group?”

“How can I share the group so the focus is on the topic and not on me?”

And if you are really truthful with yourself, allow the question to come up, “Why do I need others approval and I can’t develop it for myself?” In that question alone, you will be amazed at what comes up and the growth that can develop for it.

 love and light,

xo Uma

Getting through a Psychic Attack

psychic-attack

What exactly is a psychic attack? 

It is an occurrence that happens to you without your consent and meant to bring harm directly or indirectly to you. From what I have learned, there are two types of psychic attacks out there:

 1) Intentional/Direct attack:

This is the attack we dread. Someone intentionally sends bad energy, thought forms, words or actions in your direction. Ooooohhh it gives me the creepy crawlies to just think about it! I mean, you got to be a very unhappy or vengeful person to intentionally want to harm someone right? I shudder to think that there are people out there in the world like this, but hey, we turn on the news everyday and witness it on a physical plane (mass murders, suicide bombers etc..) so why should it be so hard to believe there are people who would do bad to someone on an energetic plane?

 This kind of attack is not limited to witches. Yes there are absolutely witches who can cast spells or perform voodoo on others to create a psychic attack either for personal or financial reasons (paid to do this work) but the majority of intentional psychic attacks come from regular people. It is so easy these days to google stuff. Your boyfriend broke up with you? No problem, find a bonding spell out there and cast it. Because your intention is strong, it will most likely work. The thing to note here is that while you may have your short term gift received in him coming back to you, it will most likely not last long term (he has free will) and also the Universe is taking notes. Nothing ever happens without retribution. This is what we call karma.

¬†I remember I had a young male client come in to see me for energy work. In receiving his weekly treatments, he felt comfortable to open up and share about his life. He said he was a wizard and worked with black magic. I told him good for him and to be careful because karma is in full effect, what you put out there, you get back. He didn’t listen to me and continued on his path.¬† I heard from him months later and was sorry to hear that life had crumbled around him. He was in a stressful situation and he couldn’t even afford to book a session with me and asked if I could just give him some free advice. I said sure, stop dabbling in black magic, pray for help and trust and wait on God to provide. I don’t think it was what he wanted to hear as he never called back but you know that is really the best advice I could give.

 2) Unintentional/Indirect attack:

 The majority of psychic attacks fall under this category. It is made up of regular people not getting their way and being immature about it.

 Think about a time when someone really hurt you emotionally. Yes absolutely, think of a breakup or a falling out with someone close to you. If you have ever uttered one or more of these phrases, then chances are you sent a indirect attack to another person:

– Oh she makes me so mad, I wish she would get what’s coming to her!

– He broke up with me, fine, I wish his life is miserable without me

– I can’t stand to see her with someone else. I hope she dates a loser worse than me.

– I wish a car would run her over and just end her life!

Sounds creepy right? Even now reading it, I bet you are going “Oh I would never say that!” Honey, of course you would. When people are mad, they say the craziest things. This is why in spiritual communities, we talk about being careful with our words. Our words have vibrations attach to them and when we send it out, it has the possibility of manifesting especially if you have the right combination of:

– The sender has a high frequency/vibration and a strong emotional charge about the matter

-The receiver is weaker and worn down therefore their psychic defense system is lacking

Clearly those two people sound like the aftermath of a breakup, right? One is stronger and one is worn down and most times is the strong person sending the attack.

It is easy to fall in this category and this is why it is important to be super vigilant about your words and thoughts. A couple of years ago I wrote a blog about a situation between myself and my boyfriend at that time. We had a troubling argument that ended with him hanging up the phone on me. OOOOHHH I was livid! I called him back and told him, “Fine! Have it your way, we are done and I hope your life is s**t without me!”

Well weeks later when we reconciled and talked (with cooler tones) he brought it up and said that day was the worst day for him! After he got off the phone with me, he was racing to work because he was late and he got pulled over and got a speeding ticket. He got to work and then his supervisor docked him for being late and he was suspended for three days without pay AND when he went back to his car, he had a flat tire! OMG I felt horrible! I had noooo idea because I definitely didn’t want any of those things to happen to him! So ever since then, I am VERY mindful of my words and even when I am in a heated discussion, I am sure to wish the person love and light. It may be through gritted teeth, but hey! I said it right?

 SO now that you know about the different types of psychic attacks, you need to know what to expect when under an attack. There are definite signs and you have to be able to tell if this is indeed from an attack or just having a crap day or week.

 Symptoms of a Psychic Attack:

– Anger and Irritability

– Anxiety and Restlessness

– Sleeplessness/Insomnia

– Losing appetite/not eating

– Plants dying

– Dead insects around the house

– Miscommunication and frequent quarrels with the loved one in question

– Heart racing or chest pains

– Headache or pressure in the head region

– Stomachache or feelings of nausea

– Feeling lost, confused or disoriented

– Feelings of sadness or being under a heavy weight

The thing to keep in mind is this: these symptoms have to come out of nowhere. If you experience these symptoms on a regular basis, then that points to something deeper and you should not be reading this article but seeking medical attention from trained professionals who know how to respond to these symptoms!

One time I was under a psychic attack, I had no idea and it was a very strange situation for me. I am sharing it here in hopes that someone can learn from my situation and in case it happens to them, they will have an idea of what to do!

During that week I was out of it. So much so, my students were worried because I was not my usual self. I had a lot of anxiety and I felt like throwing up. My heart was racing and I couldn’t concentrate, I felt all over the place. What was going on?!

It was on a Saturday when I finished teaching my last class and after the last student left, I went out to my deck to go and sit in the Sun. I prayed and asked for guidance. I was led to create a Reiki ball and infuse it into my solar plexus region. I did it and felt a little calmer. With this tiny bit of calmness I was given the message to call my spiritual advisor.

¬†I couldn’t get a hold of my go to advisor so I did some research to find someone else. I was drawn to this woman who did tarot readings and I called her to see if she could help me. I had to think about what to ask because I was in such a cloud of confusion, I didn’t know where to begin…but as soon as spoke to me, she went right to my relationship with my partner. I thought that was uncanny for her to do as at that time our relationship had volatility and we were arguing a lot. She said he was under a psychic attack from someone from his past and it is affecting me too. Wow, this was validation because my partner had told me just days ago he felt a psychic attack around him when he was doing his energy work on himself. Amazing.

After talking to the reader, I alerted my partner to his accuracy in picking up on it and then I went to work on myself. Here’s some things I did:

Defending yourself in an attack:

1) Warm bath with Epsom Salts:

I immediately went to the bathroom after the reading, put a mix of epsom salts and lavender in the bathwater and sat in it. I made sure my toes and fingers were submerged so as the bonds began to break up, they could leave through my extremities. I sat in the water for about 10-15 minutes, until I felt calm and peaceful. Afterwards, I let the water out and then took a shower to wash off all remaining traces of negativity.

 2) Prayer, Affirmations And Intentions:

While I was sitting in the tub,¬†I prayed the Lord’s Prayer first then I prayed my own prayer of protection and removal of curses/attacks and then I went on YouTube and found another prayer to remove curses. I ended all prayers by saying, “I send back this curse to whence it came sevenfold.”

See even though my reader named the person sending the attack, I did not name them. Why? Because it is not 100% known. What if, this person did not send it? Then you would be directing negative energy sevenfold back to them! That is some karma you have to deal with later on! It is best to say “whence it came” so it correctly goes back to its rightful owner.

3) Saran Wrap the Belly! 

This sounds weird I know but it is an old belief that power comes in and goes out from your solar plexus which is the midpoint of your upper part of your stomach. So when you wrap it in plastic you are not allowing your energy to go out or new energy to come in. Also if you couple this with the statement above, then you are removing the block and sending it back to its rightful owner.

 4) Protection Stones and Crystals 

The usual protection stones to have are the ones related to the root chakra meant for grounding and protection. These are generally black stones such as hematite, onyx and tourmaline but can also include tiger’s eye ¬†and obsidian.

I took three grounding stones and placed them over my solar plexus under the wrap and slept with them that way. I also laid out crystals on the bed to my right side, I included rose quartz, clear quartz, amethyst and tiger’s eye.

Aside from doing these things you can carry the stones around in your pocket and it is said to block an attack, carry it on your left side because that is where attacks come in from. You can also wear the stones in jewelry around your neck, wrist, fingers or ankles.

 5) Aromatherapy 

I have a diffuser in my room and I put in a blend of oils known for their spiritual protection and grounding properties. The oils I used were frankincense, cedarwood, sandalwood and clary sage. (need oils? buy quality oils here)

6) Chakra Clearing and Reiki

At this point I have spent two hours of protective rituals so now I am sleepy…which is a good sign because remember I haven’t slept in a week due to the insomnia! I took a selenite wand and went through each chakra clearing them using intent and Reiki and by the time I got to my root, I was so exhausted I knocked out. I woke up eight hours later feeling so refreshed, peaceful and calm. Wow an experience.

So whatever you are going through, take some time to process and tap into the universal consciousness to read your situation (like I did sitting in the sun and connecting in). Once you get directed into what you need to do, don’t be lazy! Get up and do it! And always, always have faith and trust that you will be taken care of no matter what.

 love and light,

Uma

Revisiting our old wounds

broken heart

HI there! Uma here on this wet and cold, dreary day. What happened to Spring?! Forecast tells us that the DMV area is in for a wet and soggy weekend with large chances of rain and flooding. Wow!

As I sit patiently waiting for the Spring/Summer weather to kick in, it became apparent to me how life imitates art and vice versa. Just when I thought I was nearing the end of the cold/wet season of Winter, the old season gives it one last hurray. Life imitating art. How many of us can relate to this in our personal lives? Just when we thought we completed a cycle, the wheel turned again and we found ourselves embroiled in past traumas yet again.

I once read Sonia Choquette’s book, “Walking Home: A Pilgrimage from Humbled to Healed.”¬†It talks about the month long walk she took across the legendary Camino de¬†Santiago, an 820 kilometer trek across Spain. I was fascinated about everything she encountered on her walk both in the outer world and her inner self. She was fighting herself as she walked, discarding old thoughts and belief patterns that no longer served her, working through pain and heartache and I was rooting for her! As the chapters wore down and I saw the pages lessening, I knew we both were going to come out of this experience ok, wiser and more grateful. HOWEVER! Three chapters (three more walks to the end) in she encounters a situation with some of her new friends she made on the path and a lot of old feelings and behaviors came into full effect. Even though it was more the other people’s actions and not hers, she was still affected by it. SAY WHAT?! I felt like saying, “Sonia we just spent a month walking the trail and letting everything go, why is this happening NOW?”

 Enter consciousness. Because this is the way life is.  We by nature, are a species that is constantly looking for ways to evolve. It is innate within us to want to do better, be better and live better. As we seek different avenues from where we were, in the process of getting to where we want to be, we will encounter difficulties. And this is what separates the men from the boys, as they say.

¬†Your old paradigms are the ways¬†you use to be and the ways you use to think.¬†Don’t be hard about it or disown it! It served its purpose at that time. I love it when people who have known me a long time try to give me a compliment about my “new” life and in doing so, they feel the need to put down my “old” life.

“Remember when you were a stuck up snob?”

“Remember when you were an angry girl?”

“Remember when you were mean and uncaring?”

I know their hearts are in the right place, and in their effort to compliment me now on all the lifestyle changes I have made, they wanted something to contrast it to. I get it, but here’s the thing. I am not sorry.

Due to life and my own reasons, I was absolutely a stuck up, angry and uncaring person. Look out for my autobiography, I go more into detail about it then! And at that time, that behavior and presence was needed. At that time. Now, I am in a different environment, one which allows me to authentically be myself and there is no need to defend myself or actions, so I can relax and be more comfortable in my skin. Sounds familiar?

¬†Don’t be ashamed of who you use to be before you found your spirituality, your peace, your Zen zone. You were that way because you had to be. Now you can afford to be something else, why? Because you are¬†evolving.

However just because you have decided to do something better for yourself, doesn’t mean the world is ready to let go of its hold of you. It will make any attempt necessary to keep you in the illusion that this reality had over you. Don’t fall for it.

When you are making the most progress, expect things to take a turn for the worse. This is natural and by no means, is it meant to stop you. It is meant as a challenge for you to surpass, to have and claim victory over. You can do it, you know why? Because many of us do and this isn’t your first rodeo. Last time I checked, you passed all challenges 100% of the time and you are still here.

When you look at famous and successful people like Oprah Winfrey, Steve Jobs and Albert Einstein, they all have something in common. They hit many obstacles along the way but they refused to give up. They didn’t have the mindset that obstacles are real or permanent. They may have slowed down or diverted from the path, but they kept going nevertheless.

It is always¬†darkest before the dawn, may be more a motivational metaphor than an actual scientific fact but i like it because in life it has been proven true. Whenever I hit a speed bump, and it seems like everything is falling apart around me, that is the time I am filled with elation because I know that bright sky is coming and it wouldn’t be too much longer now.

If you find yourself in a dark phase right now, hold on tight because your blessings are right around the corner. Trust and Believe and watch the miracles light up your night sky.

 Until next time, love and light always

Uma